Big deal.

i hate this 1gal.

called her MC. she'a a chinese.

why i hate her? simple.

just now i forgot to bring my apron.

then she told Poh Sim about it.

diam2 je dah aa. kuat mengadu tol.

urghhh!

i got scolded. bukan scold la actually.

tegur and nasihat.

ala, dh tertinggal. nak buat mcm mana?

tp semalam pula tertinggal cap.

gila malang betul nasib.

kenapa kau, fajin? dah nyanyuk ke? aigoo~

Raby take a break for 1hour. he went back to his hostel, and sleep.

after he came back, he told me that just now when he sleep, he had a dream about me.

i was like, "u're lying eh?"

then he said, "no, its true. its u in my dream"

muka dia mcm serious gila kot.

at first i thought he was joking.

but bila dia ckp mcm tu, okayy dah pelik.

so i went to another place.

larikan diri drpd dia.

dlm hati mcm, "ee asal dia mimpi aku pulak?"

tak suka betul.

then, got this 1chinese family. the man asked for chilli sauce. and i took it for him. suddenly he said, "u're a chinese or malay?" i replied, "me? im a malay lah. why?" then he said, "malay aa? why u didnt speak malay?" i was like, whats wrong with that? but i just smiled. then he said, "kenapa? sudah takmau jd melayu lg aa?" haha gila betul. its not like that. dh byk kali mcm tu. ada certain customer siap speaking chinese lg. apa dorg ingat aku neh chinese apa ke? urghh.

later that evening, Fadzillah gone. she'll be at JB for 3days. tomorrow i'll had the opening lessons with Poh Sim. aihh. things are getting harder :( oh oh, when im taking a break yesterday, Fadzillah said to me that the kitchen chef had a crush on me. cz he always look at me, and smile widely. i dont know anything about it. she's kidding, i guess. hahah yea! tp mcm notice juga, kdg2 tu he stare at me. ishh tah la. scaryy. pagi tadi mse mula2 dtg, he smiled and said, "morningg ;)" lol funny!

my work schedule for this week is changed.

Monday : 12pm ~ 8.30pm

Tuesday to Thursday : 9.30am ~ 6pm

Friday : Not on duty

Weekends : 10.30am ~ 7pm

will work for 8hours++ from now onwards.

hah! BIG DEAL. penat mcm tahi.

What a hectic day!

saturday. mmg sgt busy.
td table pun full. and ktorg mcm tak cukup tgn.
but thank god there's another 2staff joined us.
so takde lah mcm berat sgt.
haihh.

nothing much happened today.
the big boss is still didnt come.
but her son, yes. just now he came in, and eat.
ada lah tu dia nk complain.
hm got this white man & woman. oh its a couple.
when i passed by, the white man called me.
he said that he wanted the earl grey tea.
and then he said something, but it wasnt clear.
so asked him, "excuse me?"
and he repeated. but still, i didnt understand.
pekat betul english accent dia. haih.
but Tekman cover. oh thank god.

got back home.
supposed to meet him after work, but tak jadi.
he got another thing to do :(
just now, had a barbecue with the neighbors.
alhamdulillah, kenyang sgt.
me & mira, we talked a lot with abg fauzi.
he got a sense of humor.
ahah sooo funny! we talked about korean drama for sure [boys over flower].
he said that he already watched it til the end.
ohh mana bolehh! tak aci laah.
haha and another thing is, he always said one of the character's name, jihun instead of jihu.
lols =p selalu ketawa pasal tu ;)

after finished, went inside the house.
and oh, farah just arrived home from KLIA.
she just got back from Australia.
and she brought loads of things.
most important thing is, chocolates! haha yeayyy! ;)
she bought me a purse! its roxy. white in colour. aihh love it!
but i want the shirt too. but farah said, pilih nak yg mana. satu je.
then she said better if i take the purse. cz its more expensive compare to the shirt.
purse, $50. shirt, $5.
hahah. see the difference? so i chose the purse.
=)

How lucky I am..

okay. today was soo busy.
got so many customers.
til i have to run a little bit. oh god.
no more walking, standing and relaxing.
semua macam kelam kabut. aaaaa pening!

Fadzillah, a.k.a bistro manager, told me that the big boss is coming later today.
oh oh. yesterday her son's already came.
and guess what? he's handsome! and wow, gorgeous! tinggi pula tu.
*im melted. bwahahah ;)
at first, i thought the big boss is a man.
but nope, its a woman.
i asked Fadzillah, how does her face looks like?
and she said, "laa, gambar dia kan ada kt almari yg ada work schedule tu"
so i quickly opened the almari, and whoaa! scaryyy.
lols =p. jahat je. kan?
my first impression is, she looks like a witch.
macam mak Junpyo.
hahah just kidding. tak baik je ckp macam tu.
i mean she's beautiful, tp muka macam garang sikit la. ngee =D

at 5pm, when i was about to leave, my parents came.
its a big shock, u know.
haha they asked me to eat along with them.
but Fadzillah said, "fajin g amik staff meal then makan kt table number3. tak boleh makan dgn parents, kejap lg boss sampai"
so i told my parents about it. and they said, "hmm tkpe lah"
good for me! balik before boss datang. yeayy!
tkde lah nk mengadap muka dia.
wahahah. how lucky am I. right? =)

after finished eating, we went to Pizza Hut.
Haikal mengidam pizza. gedik tol. we ordered the pizza [takeaway], then we left.
wanted to buy some other stuff.
and mum asked me to buy a compact powder.
so i bought myself the johnson & johnson pure mild compact powder.
its good for young's skin, i guess.
i said to mum, "ma, loreal?"
then mum said, "tak sesuai lah. awak kulit muda"
err okayy.

after buying things, we seperate.
cz i drove another car.
tu lah, i said to mum, "npe tak ckp awal2 nak dtg? kalau tawu td xyah drive g kerja. g naik bus. then balik sama2"
mum said, "hm tu la. mama pun lupa nk ckp dgn awk. dah tkpe lah. awk drive. elok2 bwk kete tu"
heh. macam la sy baru sehari dapat lesen. hahah =p

oh when i got back home,
mum said, "fajin, td mse mama lalu dpn Lavender nk amik pizza, tmpt keje awk tu blackout"
and i was like huh?? haha kenapa la i dh tkde time tu. kalau tak boleh rasa mcm mana kerja kt tmpt gelap.
ngahahah ;)

Exhausted.

My first day as a Lavender staff.

I worked at 12noon til 8.30pm.
well, kinda exhausted, definitely.
had to stand up. cannot sit at all. uhh!
but but, had a break for 30mins. only
tak boleh lambat. nnt dpt 1st warning letter, and tolak gaji.
oh god.
but they provide a staff meal.
got 6rm off. so i can pick any bread that i wanted. *nyum nyum ;)
and and, ice lemon tea, free.
guess how much its cost? 4.90rm. its just a drink anyway. hush

so, ive been in charge on bistro.
bistro and cake shop is a different section.
so i cant be at cake shop. my part is only at the bistro.
eventhough its under the same roof . lols
got 2manager there.
Poh Sim [cake shop] and Fadzillah [bistro]
all the staff there were so friendly.
Raby is the person who taught me. first thing, he teach me the basic one.
table number. got 26table overall. and i have to remember the table position.
kadang2 tu confuse juga. meja2 tu bukannya ikut turutan. tah macam mana tah. susah nak explain. haih
and then he showed me where the cutleries is stored, and what the uses of small fork and byk lagi lah. basic things.

my job right now is, to serve customer.
and the person who worked with me is Raby, Tekman and Ho Yong Ling.
Raby & Tekman, both of them are from Nepal.
dua2 handsome. tp Tekman mcm sweet sgt.
masa mula2 tu dia mcm malu2. hehe comell
*had a crush on him. lols =p
and and, got this one person [kitchen chef] always smiles at me.
haha baik juga dorg.
Ho pula, sebaya. he got 7a's for SPM. but tak apply mana2 IPTA.
i asked him, "whyyy?"
he said, "i dont know. i thought it was expire already [the due date]. so dah terlambat, kan?"
i said, "haha yea. but then u nk masuk apa lepas neh?"
he said that he'll be joining form6.
haih, sayang, kan?

oh oh. got this one customer [regular customer kot]. he's a malay, middle age.
he asked me, "new staff ke?"
then i said, "haah :)"
suddenly, he called me. i came nearer.
then he said, "screwdriver ada?"
i said, "pardon?"
he replied, "screwdriver". much clearer.
then i was like, "huh? nak buat apa?"
then he laughed. "toothpick la dikk"
i was like, "ohhh. hahaha okay"
well, i dont know where the hell the toothpick is.
nak tanya, masing2 busy serve customer.
so i just pick a container of toothpick, and give it to him.
then dia buat muka macam, salah neh.
then my manager came. and that person told her everything, while laughing, yes.
i mcm dah nervous. apa yg dorg ckp neh?
then my manager said, "fajin, bukan yg ni la. toothpick yg ni utk dapur. utk customer lain"
and they laughed.
i was like, okayy. but blurr gilaa. hahah

when i was doing some work, i noticed mcm ada org pandang2.
i look outside, and i saw Pika & Khalishah is waving at me, and ketawa2.
jahat kan dorg? omg segan gilaa.
so i smiled to them then sambung balik buat kerja. hahah.
and and, guess what?
Faiz, Faisal & Pali also came.
they're laughing at me. *blushed
then they came in. i saw them filled up the form.
maybe they asked for a job. and i was like, omg! aaaaaa!
Faiz called me to come nearer.
but i didnt. i said to him that i cant. uh uh sorry =(

and lots thing happened.
what can i say? its my first experience ;)
best. tapi ya allah. kaki sakit nak mam.
gila pedih. sebab pinjam kasut mira. and then size mcm muat2.
so my thumb nail tu mcm tersepit.
fuhh sakit gilaaa. tahan je la. balik rumah, my thumb nail jd pucat.
and sampai skrg tak baik lagi.

anyway, this is my working schedule.
Monday : 12pm ~ 8.30pm
Tuesday to Thursday : 12pm ~ 5pm
Friday : Not on duty
Weekend : 12pm ~ 5pm

yeayyy! guess what does it means?
i can go to the barbecue!!
hahah. this saturday ktorg [the neighbours] plan nk buat bbq.
so haritu ingat mcm tak boleh pegi. cz kerja.
but after seeing my schedule, i was like, yeayyy!
hehehe :D

Happy?

yes, currently. alhamdulillah.
thanks kepada si dia ;)
taknak cerita lebih. nanti ada orang tu marah.
ngee :D

Still, together =)

things are getting better. alhamdulillah.
on the phone with him, last night.
he asked me to call.
he said that he still want to be with me.
and and, he'll ignore her.
cukup utk buat saya happy :)
he also said that he wanted to sing a song for me. with guitar, yes.
but tak jadi, cz guitar dlm rumah. and he's inside the car.
so i tell him nevermind lah. nyanyi je. tkde guitar pn tkpe. lagi bagus, kot.
then he asked me, "mcm mana nk nyanyi lagu tanpa music?"
i was like, err. tp if nyanyi without music, kte boleh dga suara org tu live, kan? and lebih jelas.
haha then dia kata tkpe. next time je ;)
but things are not like before.
ada sedikit perubahan, actually.
i had to get used to it. well yea, it takes time. aihh

thanks to naly anyway.
for always being there whenever i need u.
*saya pegang janji tu, kay =p
he supposed to talk with me last night,
but mse tu tga on the phone with him.
and he understand.
then i text him. no respond.
tido, kot.
haha pagi td tgk, ada msg from naly.
said that he'd fall asleep last night.
hm dah agak dah. its okay, naly ;)

today is saturday, right?
goshh. one day left. monday dah start kerja.
omg. seriously mcm tak percaya.
RHB account pun belum buat lg. injection pun tak amik lg.
mcm mana neh? haih.
kalau la ayah tak delete account tu dulu, kan senang.
dah ada dah skrg. xyah sibuk nk pk buat account sume.
hm about the injection?
semalam call klinik kesihatan, dia kata ubat utk injection tu tkde stock.
so mum called dr. rosnah, a.k.a our neighbour.
she said, if nk buat boleh. but its 65rm.
haha agak mahal lah, kan?
so i called poh sim [lavender manager] just now.
told her about that thing.
and she said, ohh if cmtu tkpe lah. u dtg je kerja, nnt i bwk u pegi inject kt tmpt yg murah, ok?
ahaha thank god. so nice of her, kan? xyah pening2 nk pk.
one problem is solved. *winks

but but, pimples pula makin naik.
ya allah, geramnyaa.
time neh juga la dia gatal naik kt muka.
sakitnya hati. mcm nak berus je bagi hilang.
urghhh!

Leaving a fracture.

i dont know how am i going to face this whole thing.
i dont have anyone by my side. im lost. totally lost.
my spirit booster, its gone.
i need it back, please.
my eyes are swollen. been cried for most of the time.
oh fajin, kenapa dgn kau? kenapa lemah sgt?
come on, u still got him, right?
apa lg yg tak puas?
theres a thing. i need the old him back.
thats it. and i'll be happy like before.
im sorry if i messed up the whole thing.
and sorry for not being such a perfect person to u.
but please, stay. i need u to fill up the colours of my life

Late, again.

i slept at 4am last night.
been on my bed at 3am.
it took me an hour to fall asleep.
a lot of thoughts. yes, it is.
ive been thinking about him, him and him.
before this senang je nk tdo.
why? cz hati senang. dia pun sentiasa bersama.

but not last night.
everything is changed.
its a BIG difference. goshh. i hate this situation.
i need the old him.
who understands me a lot than what he used to be right now.
i opened arif profile on myspace just now.
and found up this interesting sentences.

It's my fault, I'm sorry
That we had this fight
I apologize, would you hug me tonight?
Here in my bed you're miles away from me
Here in my head you're never close to me
Come on, don't be mad, I told you I need you
Come on, don't be sad, I'm still in love with you

yes, sgt sesuai dgn situation ktorg skrg.
oh god. she screwed our life like a b***h.
and now, it seems like it was all my fault.
hah. unbelievable.
hebat betul plan kau, kan?
and yes, it worked out.
happy lah kau, kan? have it, girl. enjoyed.
apa salahnya sekali sekala kau happy, kan?
tkpe, aku faham. kau mmg desperate sgt.
its ok. hari neh mmg hari kau. esok lusa, siapa yg tahu?
just pray for the best.

hopefully things will be alright.
malam td pk juga, cmne nk kerja if ada masalah?
takut distracted.
i need him. cz he's my spirit booster.
without him, im weak. too weak.

he texted me this morning. around 6++ am?
asked me to call him.
but my credit wasnt enough. and i told him that.
tak lama lepas tu, he called.
by using his lil' sister number.
im pretty shocked, actually.
we talked for about 30mins.
most of the time he'd been silent.
its urm, awkward.
tak semesra dulu. yepp, thats the truth.
and bila ckp je, mst cm nak argue.
oh god. please, i really hate it.
but one thing that im sure of, is about what i feels.
my heartbeat. still pounds up very faster like before.
thank god. perasaan yg sama. tak berubah. alhamdulillah =)

keep on praying, fajin.
pray for the best. dont give up too fast.
ure not that weak, kan?
stand up straight, and told them that u're okay.
prove to them that u're a strong girl.
yes. yes u are ;)

Thank god.

hey people, guess what?
i got a job! haha yess!
opps, its supposed to be alhamdulillah =)
god, i really cant believe it myself.
i just walked in, and ask, "is there any vacancy?"
then one of the staff there called the manager.
and the manager asked me this and that,
then she asked me to fill up the form. i did :)
but suddenly she said, "are u ready for the interview?"
so i said, "urm when is it?"
she said, "right now lah if u're ready"
gulp! omg. what the hell is going on? haha.
i was pretty shocked, actually. sumpah tak ready.
and tak expect pun boleh terus nak interview.
i asked her, "what time is it. oh i mean, now"
she said, "2.20pm"
i replied, "err actually i dh book movie ticket. and the show start at 2.30. so, cmne ek?"
then she said, "hm its ok la. u can come back after the movie ends"
so i said, "oh, haha alright. thanks. i'll come back later"

so we [intan, mira, pika & me] went to watch the movie first.
confession of a shopaholic. yep yep yepp =)
its a great movie. yes, gotta admit that.
*weh korg, bayar kt aku. cte tu best kan? agagga =p
but, my mind is not focused on the movie.
im kinda nervous when im thinking about the interview thingy.
yea, tak ready langsung kott.
and tkde experience apa2 pun before this. aaaaaaaaa!
but they told me to relax. thanks, friends! iloveyou ;)

after the movie ended,
they wanna go to the toilet.
i felt like i wanna p** too, but my nervousness just cant let it.
so i told them that i'll go down to attend the interview first.
as usual, she asked me about my studies,
how long i'll work there, etc etc.
and then she asked me about my pants size.
cz nk order uniform.
i was like, this soon? ahah goshh.
then i followed her to toilet, to try my uniform size.
M does really fits me well =)
then she asked me to read about the terms & conditions.
gila banyak. cerewet btl.
so i'll start working next week, on monday.

i met my friends later, told them all about it. and they're shocked too!
they said, "bertuah gila kau. mmg rezeki kau kot hari neh =)"
haha yea, since i want to work there badly.
i mean the uniform is purple in colour.
wow, my favourite colour tuhh.
haha and the most important thing is, its a bakery shop!
mmg minat sgt dr dulu tau.
suka dgn bread & cakes neh. mcm best sgt.
oh ohh, its Lavender, anyway.
nama kedai tuh ;)

but the worse thing is, xle pakai tudung.
wear a cap instead of scarf.
told my mum just now, dia mcm so-so la.
then she asked my dad, and ayah cm ok.
dia tak tnya lgsg psl tudung thingy tuh.
dia tanya benda lain. haha yeayy!
and and, kena makeup.
omygoshh. gila ke?
yg tu kena pk thousand times.
blusher? lipstick? urgghhh! so not me!
simple2 je dah. xyah pkai compact powder sume.
johnson & johnson baby powder pun dh ckup wangi.
ahahhah =p

mcm tak percaya je nk kerja, kan?
haha am i dreaming right now??
ohhh god

Sleepy.

hm nothing much to say about today.
its just the same day as previously.
nothing interesting.
its just, i was too lazy to wake up from my bed.
god, i love my bed.
kdg2 tu dah awake, tp masih lagi bermalas-malasan atas katil.
berangan nk dpt banglo, and kereta idaman, mini cooper s. *woot-woott =p
haha yes, keep on dreaming, fajin.

but seriously, pagi td cm ngantuk sgt.
goshh. taktau la kenapa.
after subuh, he called.
and we talked for about 3omins.
he said he wanna meet me later, or anytime, today.
i said i'll try, but i cant promise.
lastly tak jumpa pun.
ada sebab2 yg tak dpt dielakkan.

so, all msgs and calls, semua kena ignore.
dalam kepala cm, "layan tido lg best. hmm"
haha sorry.
but then i got a call from qusya.
it was the 5th call?
we talked about, hm still the same old issue. about her boyf, imran.
oh i mean her ex, currently.
jd pendengar yg setia dh ckup bagus lah kan?
haha but i feel sorry for her.
how could imran do that?
oh god. wujud juga org mcm tu dlm dunia neh, kan?
haihh.

by 2pm, went to school with mira.
she said she wanna took school magazine kt office.
but as we arrived there,
the kerani said "belum diserahkan ke pejabat lg la dik"
damnnn!
i asked mira, "asal tak ckp awal2?"
then she said, "mana la aku tawu. laili kata dia dh dpt"
goshh. down sgt.
singgah kantin jap, wow! dah berubah.
susunan meja je la yg berubah. nothing much. haha.
beli sausage, letak sambal.
seriously rinduuu! makanan fave time skola dulu.
and slalu je kena ejek dgn gang 08, according to intan, puja & taha.
*haha tak berapa faham dgn gelaran tu, actually.
kena ejek cz, mm korg faham2 la yeh.
sensitive cket if nk ckp kt sini. hahah

then mira said she wanna eat at KFC.
so we went there, and she treat me a drink.
thanks mira! =)
after we finished, beli cendol.
tiba2 mengidam. haha pelikk.
then pegi speedmart, mama pesan suruh beli roti.
haih nasib baik sempat.
and lebih nasib baik, tak jumpa that guy.
*ekin, you-know-who lah kan. haha
after kua tu, npk ada vacancy kt excellence.
mira said i should go in and ask about the vacancy.
but the counter girl said cawangan telok dh full. if ada kosong mayb dkt sri cheeding.
sri cheeding?? jauh kott.
so i was like, "urmm takpe lah. hehe terima kasih"

went back home.
borak2, tiba2 mama ckp, "fajin, esok jogging nak?"
then i said, "hm tgk la kalau rajin. and tgk mood"
mira & mama is not being satisfied with my answer.
so mira said, habis nnt kalau masuk army, suruh kawad, kau ckp mcm ni.. "maaf tuan, tkde mood la nk kawad"
i laughed. haha betul gak, eh.
mama added, "tah awk ni. mana boleh asyik nk ikut mood je"
then i said, "hm yelah2. tp kejut la esok. kang terbabas pulak"
in my mind, ive been thinking, mcm lah aku bangun esok.
after subuh terus pengsan.
sayang oh tido. agagaga =p

oh oh, esok nak tgk shopaholic dgn intan & mira.
hopefully pika will join us. aaaaaa rinduuu!
its 12.35am already.
so better tido awal mlm neh. boleh mimpi lama cket.
ngahahah. toodles! ;)

Let it remain this way.

I've been scolded by dad, just now. when he's eating on dining table.
im shocked. terkejut sgt. jantung rasa mcm terhenti seketika.
kena marah sebab apa?
sebab pecahkan botol minyak gamat.
godd. i didnt realize it.
i opened the fridge, and suddenly the little bottle dropped off.
nasib baik tak kena kepala.
then ayah tinggi suara sume. kaca bersepah la, mata tak awas la, yada yada yada.
malas nak cerita. nnt nangis lg. urghh damn.
seriously, it hurts.
tak suka gila kena marah.
and when i mopped the floor, the tears kept falling down.
i was like, "sabar, Fajin. tahan. jgn nangis kt sini. jgn nangis depan ayah. malu"
after i finish cleaned the floor, i quickly ran to upstairs.
ah before that, ayah said softly, "fajin, ckp kt jihan tu suruh makan"
dalam hati, i was like, ckp ah sendiri. td marah2. mengada tol.
tp tak ckp apa2 pun. bia dia faham sendiri.

so i went to mama's room.
cz usually i'll complained to her about ayah scolding me, etc etc.
and mama will back up.
but things aren't going that way.
im alone. mama's out.
doing facial at slimming sanctuary with auntie normah.
urghh for god's sake! i need u!

then i burst into tears. sumpah tak tahan sgt.
i quickly called him.
only him can make me feel better.
yes, he have that power.
first call, tkde org angkat.
second time, ada. i thought it was him.
tp bukan. its fakhrul.
i asked him, "faiz mana?"
then he said, "faiz tgh drive la fajin, kenapa?"
i terus hung up the phone.
geram, sgt. kenapa time2 mcm ni dia tkde?
damnnnn.
i gave him a message.
"kenapa faiz slalu je tkde time fajin btl2 perlukan dia? fajin tension sgt. if cmni kte break je lah. fajin tak tahan, faiz"
i dont know whether i really mean it, or not.
i mean the "breakup" thingy.
serabut sgt time tu. sampai xle nk fikir good things dah.
mcm nk mengamuk kt semua org. cm tahi, kan?

so i called intan.
i dont know why. she was the first person been on my mind.
and thank god she's there.
so i told her about, everything [while crying]
she told me to relax. and she asked me about the breakup msg which i gave to faiz just now.
"kau serious ke nk break dgn dia? kau syg dia, kan? kenapa ckp mcm tu?"
then i said, "i dont know, intan. tp dgn keadaan skrg neh, aku rse better if ktorg break. dia mcm slalu je dgn kwn2 dia. aku bengang, tau. ingat semua dh ok cz ktorg dh gaduh teruk haritu psl benda neh juga. tp tak. tu yg geram sgt tu. dia tawu pulak marah bila aku kua dgn korg sume. and dia kata aku tkde mse utk dia la. so skrg neh spe yg tkde mse utk spe intan?"
god, i crap a lot.
i just said the things that have been on my mind all this while.
intan said she understands me.
and she told me to relax first, and think carefully about my relationship with him.
time tu juga lah battery flat. so i said, "nnt kte ckp lg kay?"

and yea, ive been waiting for his respond.
dia tak reply pun msg td tu.
busy sgt kott.
huhuhu then i texted qusya.
told her about the breakup msg.
but she didnt reply. busy juga, maybe. cz earlier that day she said she's going to someone's wedding. haihh.
suddenly i fell asleep. penat nangis, kot. lgpun cuaca suram.
hujan. mmg sedap la tido, kan?
but terjaga cz dga bunyi msg yg sgt la kuat. hishh annoying betul.
so i woke up, took my phone and read the msg.
from, mafia. "fajin, kenapa ckp mcm tu? call faiz, please. faiz tkde credit"

so i called him. and he's trying to fix everythings up.
he said, "fajin btl2 ke maksudkan benda tu td?"
i said, "i dont knoww"
he asked, "fajin kenapa ni sbnanya? ada masalah ke?"
and i began to cry. oh airmata, kenapa lah sng sgt nk kua.
i told him about ayah.
and i was like a crybaby. sumpah. nangis teruk, tak boleh tahan.
then he said, "laa dh agak dah. mst dia ada masalah. sebab tu ckp yg bukan2. hm dh la syg. jgn mcm ni, please. faiz risau. psl ayah tu, kejap lg dia ok la. ni dh makan belum?"
i said, "belum. tak makan dr pagi. lapar, tp xle nak makan"
and we talked for another 5mins. tak lama pun.
cz sakit dada actually. mcm susah je nk ckp.

after on the phone, there's a msg from qusya.
hehe i told her not to worry anymore, cz everything is just fine.
and oh, lupa nak reply msg intan =)

haihh. thank god things are getting better.
but there's a thing that im worried about.
how long this relationship will lasts?
mcm takut sikit dgn keadaan skrg.
tp tkpe lah, its better than nothing, kan?
hehe :)

nway, thanks intan. and qusya.
cz always be there whenever i need u.
sayang korg ketat2, tau ;)

Hey, Zul =)

I met her, just now. at kfc.
its urmm, unplanned meeting.
haha last 2nights, i gave her a msg.
telling her that ive been missed her so much. and hope to see her a.s.a.p
so she called me this morning, but tak angkat.
i still laid on my bed, sleeping.
haha malas betul nak bangun.
maklumlah, tgh cuti. hehe :D

so she told me tht she'll come to her sis's house.
which is nearer to mine.
oh oh, zul is currently stays at shah alam, with her parents.
her full name is Zulaikha bt Mahfal.
but i called her zul.
and just now, she said tht i am the only person who called her "Zul"
cz she said, her family called her "Ika" and her friends called her "Zu"
so i said back, "haha yeke? aku sorg je eh? hehe best apa. baru lah special cket"

its been 4years.
yupp, 4years we didnt met each other.
she was my closest bestfriends when i was in form1 & form2.
but she moved to shah alam when we're in form3.
god. how sad it was.
but im glad to have her as one of my bff.
and we almost lost contact.
cz she lost her phone.
but thank god she still remembered my home number.

so we talked, a lot.
talk about our memories back then.
she's always been scolded by a teacher named Habibah.
of course, we called her as "bibah" or worse, "si kepala besar"
haha how bad we were, right?

but but,
we can only talked for about an hour.
cz mum said i need to send jihan & shamin to school.
urghhh damn!
so we bid goodbye.
aaaa sedih gila! dah la lama tak jumpa.
td tu pun dia ponteng kerja.
im sorry, Zul.
next time kte kua, kay? i love you.
and i miss you :)

Lol.

i went downstairs just now, and saw mama's exercising.
i was like, "heyy what are u doing?"
im pretty shocked, actually.
cz usually mum will exercise at 7pm.
but not today.
haha i guess she was so afraid of being fat.
oh yea, i think i know why.
we watched the biggest loser just now.
so maybe the show becomes her spirit booster to keep on exercising.
hehe there u go mum!

godd, so much crap.
whenever im down, i'll become the quietest person everr!
and everything will turns upside down.
i'll yelled at anybody i want.
*err the victim usually was my little sister. poor them.
but now, it turns otherwise.
i talked, a LOT.
haha maybe i think it wasnt because of my fault.
yada yada yada.
apa nak jadi, jadi lah.
penat. and malas.

1 week.

its been a week, since farah left this house.

went to Melbourne, stay with her friends there.
i guess she had a blast over there.
godd, im jealous!

hoi, cepat ah balik.
rindu kaw oh.
err rindu?? cehh, mcm tak percaya je.
wawawa =p

hm talking about rindu, i really miss those kids.
aaaaaaaaaaaa!

Listen, people.

im curently switched off my phone.
fought with him. yes, again.
its been 2nights in a row, he went out with his friends.
and came back home, late.
around 3am?
and yea, ive been waiting 4 him til i fall asleep.
cz he said tht he'll text me whenever he's free.
he also said tht it wont take a long time.
cz he wanted to spend the nights with me.
but hell, no.
he didnt keep his words.
im pissed off.

im awakened by his calls, last night.
but i ignored him.
his msgs, and his calls.
im just thought of, lets play fair and square, right?
may he feel what i feels.

but somehow, he called me again, just now.
so i went upstairs, and called him back.
but he was sOoo mad.
he yelled at me.
of course, there were a few cursing.
*im not happy about it. damn!
im just, being silent.
he asked me where i've been, why i didnt pick up his calls, and didnt reply any of his msgs, etc etc.
i dont know whats the best answer to give him.
so i just said, "sorry"
then he hang up. pffffttttttt!

im just, so mad.
off the phone, yes.
that was the best way i guess.
ok now, tell me.
who's to be blamed?
me or him?
who's fault is it?
godd. i really dont understand.
he shouldnt be mad.
i am the one who should.

oh tears, hold on.
please dont cry.
not now, please.

ya allah, bantulah aku.
tenangkan lah fikiranku yg kusut ini.
engkau lembutkan lah hati dia.
supaya dia cepat mengaku kesalahannya.
aku tidak berdaya untuk menyalahkannya.
kerana aku terlalu menyayangi dirinya.

status : still off phone. bye bye friends! and, im sorry :(