friendship. one word, but BIG meanings.
i just feel like i've been back stabbed by my own friend.
a friend that i used to consider as my bff.
how hurt it was.
u'll never know how it feel.
i feel like im crashed by a hardstone.
breathless. susah nak describe...
kena rasa sendiri mcm mana perasaan tu.
baru je nk happy2.
tp bila dpt tawu about this thing, omg.
im speechless. and startled.
and im wondering, am i such a bad friend to ya?
if i did, give me a strong reason.
enough to make me believe that this is all bcz of my fault.
aku dh byk kali terasa dgn kau..
tp pernah ke aku ckp blkg psl kau?
nak kata aku tak contact kau, aku text kdg2.
tp kau tak pernah reply pun.
call kau juga, sometimes.
tp kdg2 tak berjawab, if ada pun alasan kau, "busy"
nak kata kau contact aku?
hm tak pernah pula.
dah tu, apa sebenarnya yg buat kau ckp mcm2 pasal aku?
sumpah terasa. and masih berbisa lg sekarang ni.
betapa dalamnya luka tu.
aku tanya kawan2 yg lain, "ada tak ****** contact kau?"
and dorang jawab, "ada je, nape?"
owh okay. dah pelik.
tp aku diam, kan?
aku still pk positive.
indeed, i was blaming myself.
aku pk maybe salah aku juga dah lama tak contact kau bla bla bla.
heh how funny it was, kan?
aku kt hostel, tension dgn mcm2 masalah.
and i was hoping that i could turn back the time.
the time when all of us laughing together, how i missed those time.
i always think that among all of my friends, u guys are the best.
still, the best.
but it turns out to be happened like this.
why? just tell me why?!
was it because of me?
sebab aku cm dah lain? or sebab aku cm dh sombong?
heck, that was such a stupid reason.
i hope u guys would understand how much i suffer there.
problems kept on coming to me.
about my housemates, classmates and studies.
i dont actually enjoyed my life there.
cz i still miss spending time with my old friends somehow.
but..
this is the worst feeling i've ever felt.
lebih teruk dari time aku break up dulu.
sbb aku syg kwn2 aku, more than everything.
aku dh anggap korang a part of my family.
tp kenapa korang tak anggap aku mcm tu?
i didnt blame all of u. sorry.
but i knw, one of u is talking behind my back.
why eh?
if aku ada sakitkan hati kau, please ckp terus dgn aku.
takyah cte blkg.
sooner or later, aku dpt tawu gak bnda neh.
and here, it is happening.
im pissed.
nk ikutkan hati nak je aku tanya kau direct.
tp tkpe lah, bak kata arep, "u ignore je bnda neh.. sebok sgt pk psl org lain. just think about yourself first"
thank u, pakcik.
but its easy for u to say.
its hard for me to pretend like nothing happened.
but after spending the whole night thinking of this thing,
i guess u're right.
lagipun i tanak babitkan org yg tak bersalah.
and oh, thanks to my teman setia, [her name cannot be mention here, sorry]
for always supporting me whenever i was down.
sumpah aku sayang gila kau.
and for the rest of my friend as well.
and the most important person is, my mum.
she is the best person on earth!
she woke me up this morning, and give me a big hug.
she said, "dah la, jgn sedih2 lagi. focus dgn exam awk tu dulu.. after this boleh settle balik hal neh"
then she asked me to get ready to go breakfast with the rest of my family.
i love u mum ;)
so i decided to keep on pretending.
tengok la sampai bila boleh bertahan.
i could forgive her, someday.
tu pun if she still consider me as her "friend"
kawan je cukup, tak payah sampai ke tahap bestfriend.
cz u dont know what is the meaning of that word.
tak harapkan lebih pun. cikit pun jadi la.
susah nk cari true friends.
but thank god dalam banyak2 kawan yang aku ada,
aku dah jumpa orang yang layak dpt title "true friends" tu.
thanks sebab pernah jadi kawan aku masa dulu.
i just feel like i've been back stabbed by my own friend.
a friend that i used to consider as my bff.
how hurt it was.
u'll never know how it feel.
i feel like im crashed by a hardstone.
breathless. susah nak describe...
kena rasa sendiri mcm mana perasaan tu.
baru je nk happy2.
tp bila dpt tawu about this thing, omg.
im speechless. and startled.
and im wondering, am i such a bad friend to ya?
if i did, give me a strong reason.
enough to make me believe that this is all bcz of my fault.
aku dh byk kali terasa dgn kau..
tp pernah ke aku ckp blkg psl kau?
nak kata aku tak contact kau, aku text kdg2.
tp kau tak pernah reply pun.
call kau juga, sometimes.
tp kdg2 tak berjawab, if ada pun alasan kau, "busy"
nak kata kau contact aku?
hm tak pernah pula.
dah tu, apa sebenarnya yg buat kau ckp mcm2 pasal aku?
sumpah terasa. and masih berbisa lg sekarang ni.
betapa dalamnya luka tu.
aku tanya kawan2 yg lain, "ada tak ****** contact kau?"
and dorang jawab, "ada je, nape?"
owh okay. dah pelik.
tp aku diam, kan?
aku still pk positive.
indeed, i was blaming myself.
aku pk maybe salah aku juga dah lama tak contact kau bla bla bla.
heh how funny it was, kan?
aku kt hostel, tension dgn mcm2 masalah.
and i was hoping that i could turn back the time.
the time when all of us laughing together, how i missed those time.
i always think that among all of my friends, u guys are the best.
still, the best.
but it turns out to be happened like this.
why? just tell me why?!
was it because of me?
sebab aku cm dah lain? or sebab aku cm dh sombong?
heck, that was such a stupid reason.
i hope u guys would understand how much i suffer there.
problems kept on coming to me.
about my housemates, classmates and studies.
i dont actually enjoyed my life there.
cz i still miss spending time with my old friends somehow.
but..
this is the worst feeling i've ever felt.
lebih teruk dari time aku break up dulu.
sbb aku syg kwn2 aku, more than everything.
aku dh anggap korang a part of my family.
tp kenapa korang tak anggap aku mcm tu?
i didnt blame all of u. sorry.
but i knw, one of u is talking behind my back.
why eh?
if aku ada sakitkan hati kau, please ckp terus dgn aku.
takyah cte blkg.
sooner or later, aku dpt tawu gak bnda neh.
and here, it is happening.
im pissed.
nk ikutkan hati nak je aku tanya kau direct.
tp tkpe lah, bak kata arep, "u ignore je bnda neh.. sebok sgt pk psl org lain. just think about yourself first"
thank u, pakcik.
but its easy for u to say.
its hard for me to pretend like nothing happened.
but after spending the whole night thinking of this thing,
i guess u're right.
lagipun i tanak babitkan org yg tak bersalah.
and oh, thanks to my teman setia, [her name cannot be mention here, sorry]
for always supporting me whenever i was down.
sumpah aku sayang gila kau.
and for the rest of my friend as well.
and the most important person is, my mum.
she is the best person on earth!
she woke me up this morning, and give me a big hug.
she said, "dah la, jgn sedih2 lagi. focus dgn exam awk tu dulu.. after this boleh settle balik hal neh"
then she asked me to get ready to go breakfast with the rest of my family.
i love u mum ;)
so i decided to keep on pretending.
tengok la sampai bila boleh bertahan.
i could forgive her, someday.
tu pun if she still consider me as her "friend"
kawan je cukup, tak payah sampai ke tahap bestfriend.
cz u dont know what is the meaning of that word.
tak harapkan lebih pun. cikit pun jadi la.
susah nk cari true friends.
but thank god dalam banyak2 kawan yang aku ada,
aku dah jumpa orang yang layak dpt title "true friends" tu.
thanks sebab pernah jadi kawan aku masa dulu.
