It happened, again =(

i was hurt...
i was badly hurt.
i slept with tears again last night.
my heart becomes more and more sensitive,
til i couldnt take it anymore.
why do things have to be like this?

we argued.
it was because of me.
i did it again.
did the things that he had been hating so much.
til he burst into madness.
he was so angry.

im sorry.
for not fully understand u very well yet.
but trust me,
it was done unpurposely.
i didnt realise it at all.
i just thought that it'll be some kind of fun.
but u take that thing seriously.
how would i know?
forgive me...

but theres a thing i cant accept.
its been my 1st time in my whole life,
been scolding and be shouted off from the only person that i love.
why dear?
how could u do this to me.
i know, it was my fault.
and yea, u deserve to let it out to me.
but...
i was hurt, deep inside :'(

i was kind of ......... when u're using high tones with me.
and instead of scolding,
u use that words again. "kau & aku"
i think it was a lil' bit harsh.
but nevermind.
i swallowed eventhough it was bitter.

been silent.
that was the best thing that i thought.
i dont have anything left to said.
i just dont want to mess up the whole thing,
and make it even more worst.
i dont want us to fought off.
aihh.. if only i can turn back the time.
it wouldnt be like this.

im childish.
i know that.
i dont even know how to be a mature girl.
i just know that im in love.
but i dont know how to understand ur feelings.
i tried, dont say i didnt.
it was just, hard.
sometimes i felt like i really understand u,
but sometimes im not.
why? dont ask me.
cz i dont know what the answer is

i had a nightmare last night.
it was terrible.
many bad thing happened in my dreams.
im afraid.
i wish i could run away, as fast as i can, and as far as i could.
that night, was horrible.
i cried out.
and burst into tears.
been guilty, and also hurt.
but its okay,
i deserve it, right?

thanks..
and sorry for the whole bad thing that happened recently.
im not a good person for u.
i was bad.
i always make u feel bad.
im truly deeply very sorry =(