Read My Mind

BIJIN IS OUUUUT!

2011-05-19T20:28:00.001+08:00

OMG BONAMANA'S JAP VERSION AKA BIJIN IS NAIS OK SUCH AN EAR CANDY WALLAOH THIS IS SOOOO ADDICTIVE!!!

LISTEN TO THISSSS!

KINDLY CLICK OKTHX (=

/literally abusing the play button/

110515 Hyuk's tweet.

2011-05-15T01:28:00.004+08:00

일본가요!!!!!

Trans ; We're going to Japan!!!!

Omg hyuk adfghagsfgh this is SO CUTE ide omg eunhae OTP forever ship this couple ;A;

Eunhae so cute can u not f hae omg my bb why so adorable sahgjks he looks small in here aww my shorty :')

I love both of them ok no jokes.

A lil' smth bout SS3..

2011-05-14T22:45:00.000+08:00

Now that Super Show 3 Asia Tour has officially ended aft their last stop in Vietnam, I swear to god I really miss those moments.. Every single thing bout it.

Oh btw I just realized that I haven't update ANYTHING fr both ss3 sg and msia that I went to lol forgive me I was too busy :D

But gaiz, I personally think that SJ really been blessed by god. Idky but if u do notice, every super show in diff countries rains.

Even in vietnam w the furreaaaaking hot weather last week, it ends up raining. And it happens when SJ's performing on the stage. Its an outdoor stage so hm the boys literally got drenched by the rain ;__;

Teuk fall sick that night aft the show sobs and other boys too T.T

Remember my previous post of ss3 guangzhou? It rains too, right? Even in sg and msia. It rains all the time in sg omg the weather is fking cold aft ss3 sg 2nd show ended I was all wet bcz wanna catch a taxi lol omg f I need to stop nw feels like crying omg dnw to talk bout ss3 anymore too sad ah fking miss these moments

*crying forever*

110513 Hae's tweet.

2011-05-14T22:28:00.000+08:00

Sobs hae did u edit this by yourself omg its cute bb I love these sparkles it looks good on u ;)

He said that it's raining in Taiwan and he feel restless omg I TOLD U TO GET SOME REST RIGHT?

Sighs all I could do is just sit here and watch him suffer OTL :___;

If only I could give him a massage...

The Pearl Sapphire Blue Ocean.

2011-05-14T22:16:00.001+08:00

From SS3 Seoul to Veitnam..

*click image to enlarge*

Omg so beautiful I cant even.. Asfghsjlkahj its too wonderful & amazing omg I am literally crying ;___;

ELFs bleed the pearl sapphire blue color omg GREATEST FANDOM ever!

Before I forgot..

2011-01-29T17:02:00.000+08:00

Gaizzzz I just remembered that I do not update my blog that much so if you really looking forward of my updates please visit my current obsessed websites!!! ^^

I tweeted more than writing a status on my fb so here's my twitter link http://twitter.com/catsarelovely

I just make myself a tumblr too well it's basically about k-pop esp SJ hehe but I called this as my second blog http://fajinhae.tumblr.com/

AFGHJKLS ;__;

2011-01-29T16:52:00.000+08:00

So hm why the title is AFGHJKLS haha this is because I couldn't say the right things cz I'm sooooooooooooo excited yet so nervous omg omg omggggg it's just few hours away before I'm off to Singapore damn I can't even put my heart at ease! Donghae, I really can't wait to see you gosh Super Junior members, can't wait to see you guys perform on stage and ELF, yeah beautiful ELF, can't wait to scream our lungs out for our lovely boys!!!!!

Oh God I am so in a fangirl-ing mood shit what is happening to meeee!!!! Lol xDDD

Btw I'll not be updating much since it will be real hard for me to keep online so guys wait for me kay I'll update my blog soon!!!! ^^

p/s ; afghyujfghjkls :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

It's just 2 days away to SS3 SG and...

2011-01-27T11:55:00.000+08:00

I injured myself. That was the stupidest act, ever. Even I wasn't doing it on purpose I'm still, blaming myself. Yeah it's my fu**ing fault that I slipped and fell.

Went to see the doctor for the 3rd times. But this time I did an x-ray. Doctor said the x-ray shows that my butt bone bended inwards. Nice! So how am I going to Singapore with my pathetic condition like this? -,-

Hm the worst thing is, mum asked me to go back home this Saturday and go to SMC with her and dad. Okay my bus schedule is on that day fghjklsgh!!!! I keep on thinking on how am I going to lied mum about me going to SG haish.

Thank goodness dad called me just now and he asked when I'll go to see the specialist. I replied, "mum told me this Saturday." I said to him, "dad can I go to SMC this Friday?" He said, "I worked until late night hm asked mum to go with you." I added, "can I just go by myself cz I can't go back home this weekend since I got group assignments to discuss." Dad said, "hm okay then ask for your friend's help to drive you there."

OMGGGGGGG GREAT THING EVERRRR!!!! Love you dad! And mum, too. But in this situation, dad is much more easier for me to discuss with :DDDDDD

They said..

2011-01-25T00:52:00.000+08:00

Out to dinner with housemates just now. I often make sounds like ahhh! ouch! aww! well yeah since my butt hurts if I over moved. And they said, "fajin do you still wanna go to Singapore?" I replied, "of courseeee!" Hm the thing is, they said that this is like the bad sign for me to go to SG this weekend since I don't have the "restu" from my parents. Yeah they know nothing bout me going to SG for a concert. Super Junior's concert. Idk what they'll respond if they know bout this oh God I'm such a dead meat -.-

Hmm the things that they said bout the bad sign really bothers me. I even think bout it now. Who said I'm not worried? Sighs it actually scares me. Anything can happen during the journey gosh I'm praying for the best hopefully I'll safely arrive..

It's just 5days away to SS3 SG and I'm afghjkls exicted!!!!!! I really need to recover ASAP okay I mean it. Please pray for me too! Thanks in advance! ^^

Bad luck :(

2011-01-25T00:25:00.000+08:00

I slipped and fell in the toilet last night sobs my butt hurts like asfghjk >.< I can't even sit, get up and even walk properly ohmygod why now whyyyyy?!! Mum asked me to see the doctor and I went to Az-Zahrah that night and the doctor was like hm... She just give me an injection and painkiller pills. Couldn't do the x-ray since its already late and it was closed already. Laila said she not being satisfied with the doctor's consultation and yeah I do agree cz she didn't even checked my body =.=

This afternoon I went to government hospital. At first I just wanna accompany Laila cz she's having red dots on her body we doesn't sure what it is but Ieka said it might be chicken pox. Lol her facial expression changed its really funny to see her like that XD Then Laila asked me to check my body too. I did, and once again, couldn't do the x-ray cz the machine is broken oh God do you know how curious I am bout my butt bones condition? But the doctor is much more better than the previous one she said if I had a bone fracture I couldn't walk or move at all! Fuhh I'm relieved.. Thank goodness I still can walk. She gave me an mc for 2days sighs I'll miss my studies! Like, A LOT! :(

p/s ; please be extra careful on a WET floor kaythanksbye.

Things to do.

2011-01-21T21:15:00.000+08:00

Finance (ratio, sources and uses)

Mgt (individual assignment)

Statistics (revision)

Law (revision)

Arab (dialog)

Insurance (revision)

OMGGGGG!

2011-01-20T02:15:00.001+08:00

Seungri / VI [Victory] - What Do You Want Me To Do

Damnnn the mv teaser is outttt oh God he's HOTTTT fghjklsghj how I miss himmmm!
Can't wait for the official MV! ^^

Damnn..

2011-01-20T02:02:00.002+08:00

Okay I want this shirt so badly! Wanna wear it during SS3 Malaysia! ^^

Click here :)

LOL Jihan.

2011-01-16T02:24:00.002+08:00

Mum called me this afternoon. After chatted for 15mins, I asked her to pass the phone to Jihan. And here our conversation went..

Me ; Jihan nak g mana?

Jihan ; Taktau la Jihan ikut je mama ngan ayah.

Me ; Kenapa suara Jihan lain ni?

Jihan ; Demam laa..

Me ; Oh Jerry sihat?

Jihan ; Hah kak Fajin nak tau tak, haritu Jerry nampak hantu.

Me ; Hahaha banyak la.. Mana Jihan tau?

Jihan ; Eh betul lah.. Masa tu subuh, Jihan nak siap g sekolah, lepastu Jihan buka pintu nampak Jerry kat atas meja batu. Dia pandang je kat satu tempat tu lepastu mata dia cm besar gila. Jihan pun tegur lah, "Jerry" then dia cm terkejut lepastu ekor dia naik. Esok tu dia terus demam.

Me ; Hahahahahah Jihan ni lawak la *laughing so hard*

LMAO Jihan why so cute whyyyyyy?!! Damn I miss herrr I miss my dearest family sobs ;(

SS3 Guangzhou.

2010-12-25T23:26:00.013+08:00

HIGHLIGHTS.

It's raining there and Kyuhyun performs barefooted to prevent himself from slipping.

Leeteuk & Sungmin both slipped on the wet stage during Rokkugo.

ELF said it's cold there [aww poor them T.T]

Henry sings Justin Bieber's Baby!

There's EunHae moments for sure!

Few members were slipped too! :(

Yesung was shivering on the stage.

Donghae used actions to tell the fans who are standing on chair to be careful.

Some of the fans said Yesung cried during It Has To Be You when everyone sang along with him.

During Bonamana, Heechul hugged Leeteuk and kept laughing lol :D

Oh they wore Santa's clothes.

ELFs were crying watching Kangin's VCR.

During Dancing Out, Yesung gave flying kiss. Siwon went to the camera to sing.

EunHae hugged!

SJ members & ELFs sang a birthday song. It's Sungmin's birthdayyy! ^^

After singing bday song for Sungmin, Siwon said, "hope there will be 5jib, okay?" In chinese :)

PIC SPAM.

The outdoor stage.

Barefooted Kyu.

Donghae's fans.

EunHae moment.

HaeNim.

The wet stage T_T

Wookie.

Last but not least, the Pearl Sapphire Blue Ocean :)

Credits ; Please Don't Cancel SS3 Malaysia, PROM15E TO 13ELIEVE, Super Junior, Lee Donghae

It's Christmas.

2010-12-25T00:47:00.003+08:00

Merry Christmas to those who are celebrating! Not forgotten, my lovely boys :) You guys are currently at Guangzhou, right? Tomorrow would be your concert. I hope you're having a great time celebrating Christmas there. Please stay warm and have a good one! ^^

Btw, wish you all the best in SS3 Guangzhou. I wish I could be there and watch you guys perform. But hey, it's just a month away before SS3 Singapore. Dammit I'm so freaking excited over hereeeee! So I'll see you guys there! Donghae, you better watch out cz I'll keep my eyes on you. Stop flirting with other fangirls okay it'll make me insanely crazy!

Should I propose you? Kekeke ㅋㅋㅋ

I LOVE YOU, UNCONDITIONALLY <3

Intan Shafinaz :)

2010-12-25T00:14:00.004+08:00

She came to my house last night and surprised me with this..

My birthday was over for like, 2months ago but she still, gave me a present oh my this is the first time I experienced this in my life! And thanks for that, Intan :)

When she showed me the cupcakes, I was screaming like a crazy retard and she's just laughing omg you have no idea how shocked I am. Feels like eating her upp! LOL ^^

It's Elmo & Cookie Monster dammit they were my faves! Sooooooo cuteeeee isn't it? Sayang ok nak makan haish. Intan it seems like I'm torturing them hahah sorry my dear elmo & cookie monster I have to eat you up! *evil laugh*

And oh, we talked for about 1hour damn I wish we could talk all night long! Intan the cuppies tasted soooooooo nice you should have eat some. You must be regretted padan muka siapa suruh reject. Orang offer tanak! Haha :P

Oh oh, she gave me this too. A carricature [ignore the spelling I wasn't sure lol] of my face :D

It was awesome, right? I know.. That's why she's the best! ^^

p/s ; Thank you so much Intan for all the things you have done to me. I don't know how to repay your kindness omg can I cry nowww? T_T You're the best friend I ever had. Thank you for that. I love you mwah mwahhh! ^^

Nothing Better.

2010-12-18T03:19:00.002+08:00

Oh my whyyy!!! You guys are murderer! Seriously. You both had just killed me with your angelic voice. Kyaaaaaaa!

Nickhun's version :)

Jjong's version :)

Okay if Donghae sing this song too, I died. On the spot.

Random.

2010-12-18T01:10:00.004+08:00

Watching WGM KhunToria. Omg they're such a sweet couple! Damn I envy muchh! No wonder this couple got so many haters LOL. But hey, I'm not one of them you know. Eventhough Khun is one pf my bias :D Well there's nothing we can do about it aightt? It's good to see him happy that way. Yeah it's a good thing indeed.

Hm talking bout couple stuff, I'm wondering what my reaction would be if it was Donghae. I must be dead. Worst than dead. Ahh I want him to be happy. And by having someone by your side really makes everything turns great. But.. Idk. It's just, he's my first love, you know. Haih :(

Okay let's stop. My heart starts to beat slowly. Am I really this weak? Awhh nooooo T__T

My heartbeat (=

2010-12-05T22:18:00.003+08:00

One of the reasons why I love him.. Look at his answers. I LOL-ed everytime I read this ^^

Dong Hae's 100 question & answer

1. Name: Pinocchio (his nickname given by Hee Chul)
2. Age: 22
3. Birthday: 1986.10.15
5. School: Harry Potter School~
6. Height: I’m like third high C on the keyboard
7. Blood type: A
8. Religion: Below God’s sky . . .
9. Hobbies: To listen to Cinderella’s ( Hee Chul ) gossip
10. Personality: I’m lovable
11. When you’re the happiest: When I write in my diary
12. Your biggest complaint currently: No computer at home
13. What you wear when you sleep: Pajamas are the best!
14. A hairstyle you like on the opposite gender: Silky hair
15. Ideal girl: It could be you who’s reading this right now
16. Habits: Whenever I think of you (music note)
17. Favorite fruit: Tangerine, pear, strawberry, kiwi - they’re the best
18. Favorite vegetable: Carrot!!
19. Guy celebrities you think are good looking: Cinderella, Snow White.
20. Girl celebrities you think are pretty: Song Hye Gyo !
21. A treasured possession: Polaris
22. Numbers you like: 3, 6, 9
23. Things that stress you: I want to see my big brother (DongHwa hyung).
24. My bad qualities: The fact that I can’t be a citizen on the planet BangWheeDaeHuLweh
25. Your mood right now: Zzang!!
26. What you want to do right now: I want to see Ki Bum but he’s not coming
27. A kid you like: A kid that’s like a kid
28. Food you like: Chicken DoRiTang
29. Food you don’t like: Anything sweet
30. Shoe size: 270
31. Drinking capacity: Beer is always N O ! !
32. Cigarette: Smoking is also always N O ! !
33. A movie that made you sad: Whatever others say is sad . . . is sad
34. A childhood dream: Even if I run into a huge car, I never get hurt.
35. Motto: Let’s not get scorn from others!
36. Bedtime: Whenever I want to sleep!
37. Your future hope: To conquest America
38. Do you think you’re the type that laughs easily: I laugh easily inside hah
39. Something you cook well: Ramyun, just something strange. Do you want to eat?
40. Where do you live right now?: somewhere in Korea
41. An event that remains in your memory: From fifth grade to junior high
42. What you say often: Let’s go see a movie, I missed you, you live inside of me!
43. Have you ever gone out of country: NO!
44. First kiss: When are you going to kiss me??
45. If you did, where: Me??
46. When you see a girl, where do you look first: Pupils
58. If you suddenly got million won: To my parents…
59. A drama that you had fun watching?: Dramas are my sole joy in life!
60. A movie you had fun watching?: Movies are my sole life!
61. Eyesight: 2.0
62. Destressing methods: Shopping!
63. What you want to learn: Everything in the world.
64. What you want to do: I want to meet Justin!
65. If your girlfriend was dying: I would do whatever it takes to rescue her!
66. When do you feel like you hate yourself: Even when I hate myself, I still like myself
67. About relationships before marriage: I don’t care
68. Lifestyle principle: There is nothing in life that comes looking for you.
69. Weather that I like: A weather that is good for movie-watching
70. When is your TV time: When dramas are on.
71. Precious friends: My hyung (DongHwa)
72. Life is?: Happiness
73. Favorite drink: Milk
75: Favorite cookies: PokaPoka~chip
76. If you break up with your girlfriend, you would go: to sing
77. A teacher you respect: My teacher is my father!
78. Introduce your family: Grandpa, Grandma, Dad, Mom, Hyung, Me
79. Happiness is: The fact that I can do something right now!
80. A birthday present that you remember most: Just the fact that I’m healthy
81. Favorite animal: Maltese, Yorkie
82. Favorite plant: Flower
83. Favorite season: Spring, summer, fall, winter, I wish the season would change once everyday
84. About antis: good bye
85. If you had to choose between love or friendship: Both~(I can do it^^)
86. If the world was to come to an end tomorrow: I want to spend it with my family
87. Singing skills: Nice good
88. Dancing skills: Nice zzang
89. Your theme song: If you like it I will do as much as you want
91. Favorite fruit tree: I like them all
92. What do you feel about relationships where a girl is older than the boy: If they like it, well…be happy!
93. If you were to die tomorrow: What…with my family again
94. When do you want to marry: When I see Polaris
95. Yourself 20 years later: I love you
96. A country you want to see the most: America, Australia, Canada!
97. E-mail: Um…I have 4
98. What you want to say to those who read this: Do you want to fall into Dong Hae’s smile?
99. If you had a trait you want to fix: Where?
100. Last word: Is Planet HuLwehShiMan really unconquerable??
[credits to ; http://superjuniorprofiles.blogspot.com/2009/04/donghaes-profile.html]

See? Funny right? Rascal boy! Now tell me is there any reason not to love him? :P

Oh boy you're so random! I love you Lee Donghae! <3 <3 <3

Tomorrow..

2010-12-05T22:07:00.002+08:00

Have to wake up at 4am. The flight will depart on 6 something? I don't remember. So yeah tonight is a busy night, I assumed. Need to pack up my things urgh I HATE PACKING for God sake! Someone please? Lend me your hand :P

Stalk stalk stalk.

2010-12-05T21:40:00.002+08:00

Went to Sunway Pyramid with Intan, Shamine [my lil' sis] and Nabilah [her friend]. Why we went there? Simple! Kim Hyun Joong is thereeeeee! He'd been here since Friday and today would be his last day. And in a few moments he'll depart from KLIA tsk ;(

Ah back to the topic, hell yeah it was beyond awesomeness! Been such a retard for a while. Lots of fangirls, as expected. Oh there were boys too! ^^
He arrived there at 11am and I asked one of the guards there when he'll be arrived. He said at 12pm..

Sharp at 12pm, he's out from the door and we can hear the loudness of screams! Well yeah, including me LOL. But but, there's a BIG thing that annoys me during the stalking session. There's this one lil' boy stood in front of me and its hard for me to panjangkan tangan to snap KHJ's pictures since it is so pack! Besides him was his mum which I can say thousand times annoy-er! First things first, they make faces when we're like himpit2 and they're not pleased about that. Okay so now tell me what do you expect when you're in that situation? More space and a calmer situation, perhaps? SCREW THAT!

Well if you're going to stand there & do NOTHING you better back off and give the priority to the other fans who had screaming their lungs out in order to attract KHJ's attention. You should give some space to ppl who wants to take his pics and not conquering the WHOLE space! Be considerate la heyy common sense kot! And you're already know how fangirls react when they get to see their biases like screaming etc right? So you better don't make faces like you're annoyed or something sheesh!

When I started to screams, she and her son close their ears with their hands. WTH! And look at me like I'm crazy or something. Hellooo everyone did the same thing okay and it's YOU who are weird! If you're not that supportive like us ; the fangirls, so you better step back you morons! Not by blocking our sights! Feels like slapping them in the face! Like seriouslyyy.. Hell yeah I was mad like a bull!

And and, the more upsetting thing is KHJ was there for like 15mins I guess? He entered The Face Shop, gave some speeches which I don't understand since it is fully in korean then take some pictures with the staff etc and after that waving at us and then poof! GONE! Dah la tak nampak sangat pun muka dia hasih. But nvm, I'm enjoying myself up there. Screaming like a mad person LOL. Intan said her eardrums need to be fixed since my voice was too loud! But I don't think it's loud enough I think I need to prepare myself with a mic :D

Oh btw the pictures are still in progress. I'll upload the pix when it is ready! (^_^)

Malas.

2010-11-16T00:49:00.003+08:00

Esok aft subuh balik Terengganu. Going to celebrate Raya Haji there. Hati ni macam berat je nak balik I don't even know whyy :(

Dah la tengah sedih depress emo semua lepastu nak kena pack barang ish serious malas. Mama, Ayah, boleh tak if Fajin tanak balik kampung?

TAK BOLEHHHH! [this must be their respond tsk ;(]

Heartbreaking.

2010-11-16T00:20:00.005+08:00

Zati told me just now that SS3 in Malaysia had been cancelled and will be replace with SS3 in Vietnam. Oh this is really a heart-breaker. A hope that will never comes true. Lots of MELFs are really anticipated for it and I'm pretty sure that some of them already save up their money for SS3 and then suddenly poof! It's gone. And some of them already buy the flight tix to attend the concert. You know what I mean right?

Feels like blaming everyone. SME, Redstar, JYJ fans and also Vietnamese. No offense, please. I'm just out of control. My brain didn't function very well right now. Emo muchh!

I don't know whether this thing is true or not. But... Read this!

The Vietnamese post this on Twitter.

JessicaJFacts ; 90% SS3 will be in Vietnam. Recently, SMTown staff have come to an offline meeting of ELFs in Vietnam. We're really excited xD'

andddd...

JessicaJFacts ; SS3 in Malaysia is comfirmed t...o be cancelled. SS3 will be in Vietnam instead xD Yay ~!!!
[credits to Izzati Norazmi]

Sounds real, right? I mean, it is convincing. Oh how I wish that this is just a part of my worst nightmare!

I just wanna kill everyone right now!

Happy :)

2010-11-15T19:53:00.005+08:00

I really had a good laugh with my family members at the dine table just now. Too bad Farah isn't there with all six of us. But after all, it is fun! :D We shared all the funny jokes that just happen recently. And I told them a story where I wanted to scare Syu but she didn't get scared at all LOL :P

Now I'll tell you the full story..

That night we decided to eat outside. Its kinda late that time and all four of us [Ieka, Syu, Lela and me] were still bermalas2an on our bed. Since I slept outside [hall] with Lela since months ago, Ieka and Syu sometimes loved to join us. Watching movies etc. Then later that night I asked Syu to take a bath first. I don't know where the hell is the idea came from but I said to Ieka, "nak takutkan Syu lah". I quickly got up and went to Syu's room. When I passed by the stairs, I saw telekungs were hanging there and I think that if I wear this, it would be much real :) Ieka and Lela helped me. I wore the telekung backwards. Oh I mean the face part is on my head. So I had difficulties on breathing and I can't even see a thing! Lela and Ieka switched off the lights. Okay this is no fun.

So I waited outside the bathroom. Trying my best not to laugh. Oh it kills me, seriously. I can't stand much longer. But then Ieka shouted, "Syu lama lagi kee? Cepat kita tak tahan nak b**ak ni". I giggled inside the telekung. Lama okay tunggu Syu. Macam tau2 je nak kena prank hee :D And I heard that she's ready to go out. Then the moment she opened the door, I went straight in front the door and I yelled "Haaaaaaaaaargghhh!" Okay no respond I wonder why. Then I lol-ed and I took off my telekung and I saw Syu is rubbing her small eyes. She didn't wear her spec! Oh myy.. ROFL! Then Lela and Ieka came up and scolded me cz it doesn't worked at all! And they said, "bodoh la fajinnn macam tu kau takutkan orang? tu bukan hantu namanya". And we all laughed.

Okay seriously rasa macam hantu yg sangat lawak. I told my family this story just now and they all laugh so hard! I saw Ayah giggled LOL it is hilarious to watch him laughing that way. Oh how I looooved them! ^^

Oh kill me!

2010-11-14T21:16:00.003+08:00

Watch this video til the end and you'll know how adorable Donghae is.

One word. I died.

Oh God Donghae is just too cute to resist help me I can't get rid of him out of my head oh please!

Seriously, whoever the owner of the camera is, she's lucky. Damn lucky. I watched this video thousand times and I imagine if that camera is mine, I would play the video for all of the time. Non-stop okay seriously.

There's just no reason for me to dislike you. Urghh!

Sucks.

2010-11-12T04:01:00.004+08:00

While downloading SS2 DVD just now, I saw this..

It was during the members introduction and it's Donghae's turn. He went over the fans and randomly grab the hand and he kissed. F**kkkk! You have no idea how I explode just now. Poor Shamine became my victim. Luckily I didn't hit her so hard. Marah bengang geram tsk ;( I never thought he would do that. Oh Donghae you really screwed up my day.

I hate you. Bye.

Naruto.

2010-11-12T01:49:00.003+08:00

Naruto = Nickhunnnnnnn!!! Okay boleh mati sekarang. Lol its always been him in my head recently. Time nak jawab exam pun boleh lagi terbayang Nickhun's part in I'll Be Back.

Nickhun's rap is EPIC!! His pronunciation is just, awesome! He looks great with just a headband omg I can't breathe. Seriously I'm in love with him. Well yeah, my current obsession tehee :D

But but, Donghae is still the first, don't worry :)

LOL.

2010-11-12T01:21:00.002+08:00

Kau bodoh.

Hahaha regretting for the wrong things you have done to me? Stupid you. Masa aku serious dengan kau, kau main2. Now nak regret pulak. Well kiss my ass dude! Get a life, seriously.

Thanks to you cz I'm so happy with my life right now. Feel much more better without you. Opps isn't it too mean? Who cares, anyway :P

$$$$

2010-11-12T01:17:00.002+08:00

MONEYYYY! I need more money, pleaseeeeeeeeee? I wanna go to ss3 in Singapore so badly! Now I got no money left in my purse. Nak keluarkan from Tabung Haji, mesti ayah tak kasi. For my future, he said tsk ;( But this is my future too, Ayah. Nak jumpa Donghae! *roll on the floor crying*

Merajuk.

2010-11-08T01:55:00.016+08:00

For the past 3weeks I've been merajuk sebab tunggu Donghae update twitter tapi tak update2 punnn. So oleh yg demikian, saya mengambil keputusan untuk tidak online kerana takut kecewa tsk ;( Oh how pathetic kann HAHA!

Well since I already MERDEKA! *clapping hands, I decided to online. Bukak je twitter, first thing first mesti lah stalk dia! Then tengok banyak gila eh new tweet from him. Urghh feels like slapping him! Penat je merajuk lepastu kau boleh pulak update twitter kann grrr!

Well yeah as usual, he mention ELF on his tweet but tah la.. It hurts, honey you know? T____T
Benci Donghae!

Tapi sayangggg hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Fgjkwrfh!

2010-11-08T01:46:00.002+08:00

One word,

F
R
E
E
D
O
M
M
!

FREEDOM FREEDOM FREEDOM! OH FONT TAK BOLEH BESAR LAGI EH? HAHAHA AMEK KAU BESAR NI BIAR PUAS HATI NAMPAK DENGAN JELAS!

Freedom is the best satisfaction everrrr! ^^

Insomnia.

2010-11-06T03:59:00.000+08:00

It's 3.57 in the morning and I still can't sleep. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Bantu lah aku, ya Allah!

Give up.

2010-11-06T03:37:00.003+08:00

Seriously I don't think that I could do this. I can't control this fu**ing feelings anymore. Que sera sera.. Whatever will be, will be. Biarlah saya kecewa.. Saya berserah.

Oh damn I started to hate myself!

No title.

2010-11-06T02:53:00.002+08:00

I want himmmm!!!! I do think that we can be a perfect match :D Oh stop being perasan, Fajin. He's just not that into you. Get a life, seriously.

Alaa tapi nakkkkkkkkkkkkk! Macam mana? :'(

It's always been him inside my head for the whole time! Macam boleh jadi gila je. God, I really hate this feeling. The feeling of falling in love... [oh so gay!]

I need to buang this perasaan jauh2. Takut kecewa nanti. But....

Urghh don't be that weak! Come on, Fajin. You have to, okay?

Hm well, as a saying says, "Prevention is much much more better than cure"

I guess I need to control my mind not to thinking too much bout him. Yeah you go girl! ^^

2010-11-06T02:43:00.003+08:00

Stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress stress

Tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap tahap

Beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk beruk!

Addicted.

2010-10-22T02:15:00.004+08:00

I am so freaking looooooved this song! Like, seriously.
Angela, by Super Junior :)

i think of the first time that i saw you.. in a moment, my heart fell apart
although you’re cold-hearted, you’re too wonderful of a person to erase

you are my angel, whisper softly
an affectionate whisper: “i love you everyday”
the sadness of only one.. i pray that i won’t wake up from this dream

i’ll be okay.. i’ve always been like this.
even being behind you, i’m still happy like this
tears fall again, even at your jokes
because i have to stay by your side with just a cold face

when you’re lonely, or even when you’re sad, if that man who can protect you is me
i can love you right now as you are.. forever, really forever

you are my angel, whisper softly
i imagined your once-sweet smile all night long
the memories of staying up all night from one meaningless word

i’ll be okay.. i’ve always been like this.
even the brushing past of your hand makes me happy like this
tears fall again, even at your playfulness
because i have to stay by your side just as your most comfortable friend
(ohh~ by your side, by your side)

i shouldn’t be thinking thoughts like this
i know the place that i should have
now i’ll erase you who fills my mind

love me.. no, forget me.
even being behind you, i’m still happy like this
tears fall again, even at your jokes
because i have to stay by your side just as your most comfortable friend
i just have to stay by your side.. next to you.. forever

Great!

2010-10-22T01:54:00.002+08:00

Just now Kak Ain a.k.a Farah's friend sent me a message through fb. She asked me about the SME's thingy. And also, about SS3 in Malaysia. But then she asked me whether I'm going to SS3 in Singapore or not. I said nooo because I don't have any friends to go with. Then she asked me to go there with her! Okayy seriously nak pergi! But but, takut tak dapat green light from parents. Ufff! Ah tak kira, nak pergi juga! By hook or by crook :P

So, I have to starve for this whole month since the ticket will be sold on next month. The ticket price is about 497rm, if I'm not mistaken. Like the previous SS2 ticket in Malaysia. Will I survive? YES, definitely! Anything for my babyyy! ^^

Well talking bout SS3 really makes my heart pounds up very fast! This will be the best thing ever! Lebih seronok daripada ada boyfriend previously. Lol :P

Seriously I can't wait to see you my darling! *jumps off happily :D

Random.

2010-10-21T23:38:00.002+08:00

As usual, I let my blog been abandoned. I really had no time to update everything. Hm many things happened recently. I don't know where I should start. But hey! I got a new friend. Woots! ^^

It is nice to know him in person, you know. I really hope that we could make a pair of good friends. But I don't know why all of my friends were gossiping me with him. Is it wrong to have a boyfriend? Saya kawan je dengan lelaki lain takda pun kena gossip :P

Oh btw, last week we had a mini handball tournament. I participated :) But in cheers. Well the luck is on our side. We won the 2nd prize winner! *Clapping hands ^^ It is quite shocked since our team didn't put much effort on winning the prize. Yeah last minute discussion and last minute practice, but it ends up being on the 2nd spot! Congrats to us! Yeayyyy! *Cehh padahal 2nd place je tu pun nak kecoh. Lalala :P

Well I had a dinner with my family just now. Celebrating my belated birthday. Tsk sedih je lambat celebrate. But nevermind, at least something than nothing! Yuhuu thanks Mama, Ayah! Thanks for everything. I love you both til death! You both were such a great parents everrr! No one can ever replace your spot :D

Basically today is a great day! But....

;(

Darn you, SME!

2010-10-21T17:17:00.002+08:00

Okay seriously you screwed off everything! A small thing you turned it into a BIG problem! What the hell is wrong with you actually? Just because of Redstar has brought JYJ into Malaysia you want to cancel SS3? I don't know where the hell is your brain. Seriously if SS3 is really not going to happen in Malaysia I would bash you up! Like, anywhere and everywhere. Urghh damn you!

For the time being, I'm praying for the best. I really hope that I wouldn't be canceled.
Insyaallah..

A week without my drugs.

2010-07-11T14:32:00.002+08:00

My Drugs = SJ

Yeah it's a fact. My whole week turns into a disaster. Seriously, I can't live without my drugs. They're too strong. I can't deny it.

Okay now kena remind myself bawak laptop! Ishh macam mana la boleh tertinggal. Haih. Internet pula takde lagi kat rumah sewa. Duhh suffer much!

A week without updating about them really torture me. Sumpah rasa cm lost. Rindu dorang? Hm tak payah cakap. Bila dapat tengok mv No Other, terus je burst! Rindu yg menyesakkan jiwa :(

No Other.

2010-07-03T01:14:00.005+08:00

The title really suits this post. Sumpah, "No Other" than Super Junior. Okay No Other is a song title from their repackaged album. This song was created by Leeteuk and Henry themselves. OMG they really did a great job! The result was superb!

Watched their performance on Music Bank this evening. I really anticipated for it since the MV wasn't released yet. Darn you SME! Blame you for this. The MV supposed to be out before their performance, right? Or they didn't have MV for this song? LOL :P

But hell yeah the song was great, their dance was ppperfect! Their looks, aishh can't describe it. They all looked adorable in there. The dance reminds me of their Miracle performance. Goshh I really missed those times ;( But hey, no more shirtless. Well, they are showing their gentleman side. Previously on Miinah they showed their masculine side. *drools :D

I don't know what else to say. Just watch this video. Enjoyyyy ^^

The best part was, they all looked soooo happy in here, isn't it? Leeteuk, especially :) Yeah I know its your song, you must be proud of it right? Well done oppa! Henry and you really did an excellent job! Woots! ^^

Leeteuk's birthday surprise :)

2010-07-02T00:34:00.005+08:00

Well as what I've expected, the members really prepared something for the leader. Throwing a cake to Teukie's face lol that was EPIC! ^^

You guys daebakk! ^^

LOL teukie's face :D

Actually there's a video of it as well but I can't upload it here. Idk why but I think its going bitchy. Sighs.

But nevermind if you really wanna watch it you may find it on videos at my fb profile. Tu pun kalau rajin :P

Oh it's raining today. I wonder if it's raining in Korea too. If it is, then Teuk must be very happy. As he claimed that he is the angel without wings. Because it was raining when he was born.
LOL ^^

Sucks.

2010-07-01T21:29:00.004+08:00

I don't even know how to start it. Everything was such a mess!

Went to Bangi for registration at 11am. But sesat, so I arrived there at 12pm lebih macam tu. Went to BSN to pay the fees and then went to print shop to print all the documents. Meet Kai there :)

So after we settled our things there, its already 1pm. The registration closed for a while [lunch hour]. Then by 2pm we went back there. Okay at the "sahsiah rupa diri" section, tak lepas. Cz I'm wearing skinny and long kemeja. Hello tutup punggung okayy. She said, "Saya memang tak boleh nak lepaskan awak. Pergi tukar baju kurung" I was like, whatthehell? Last sem boleh jee ish sumpah bodoh! How on Earth am I going to find baju kurung on the spot? Tell me!

But thank God Kai ada. So I borrow hers. Dah kena patah balik pergi rumah sewa. Nasib baik kat 15teen. Kalau kat section3 memang nak mati lah kan. Ok time tu sumpah dah macam, cursing gila babi. Non-stop. Maaf lah ya emotional sebentar.

Then datang balik sana. 1st and 2nd section, lepas. Sampai je 3rd section, stuck. Cz Kai having some problems. So we went out of the line and discuss. She have to see the Director to disucss about her problems. Ok I accompanied her, sebab tak sampai hati pula nak biarkan dia sorang2. Besides, she already waited for me and accompanied me before that. So fair lah kan.

She asked me to settle down my registration first, but I was like, nevermind lagipun bukannya lama sangat kan. Ok I thought sempat la cz registration close at 4.30pm. And it was 3pm that time. So I waited for her outside. Then, got this one kerani passed by and another one kerani at the counter asked, "Dah habis ke registration?" And she answered, "Haa dah habis dah, baru je tadi" Ok GREAT! F**kkkkkk! Ok that was absolutely, goshh! I don't know how to describe it. Bodoh cakap 4.30pm tutup so tunggu je la sampai 4.30. Apa pemalas sangat dorang nih? Tu la orang melayu, cakap macam apa tah. Bloody hell!

So dengan perasaan kecewa marah bengang sakit hati, balik je la. Oh told ya before that I'm not a good driver right? I mean, jalan. Sumpah bab jalan ni memang lemah. I'm not a type of person yang ingat jalan. Lalu la 10times on the same road pun, I still can't remember it. Langsung, ok. Then cm takpe, ikut je la signboard Shah Alam. Ikut punya ikut then pufff! Hilang. Ok bagus la. Where the hell is Shah Alam? Get confused. Signboard mana nak ikut ni? Lalu Dengkil, reject. Lagi tak berani nak lalu jalan dalam. Now signboard to Ipoh, Kajang, and apa tah lagi. Shit laa where the hell is Shah Alam hah bodohh? And I took Kajang. Bagus, kan?

Ok sesat dekat highway, faham2 je la kan. U-turn bukan main jauh lagi. Sumpah babi. Dah la lalu kat tempat yang sama. Eh seriouslyyy.. *speechless.

Then called Laila. Idk why but her name popped up into my mind. Then cakap sesat semua. And she asked me where am I. I was like, taktauuuu. Macam kat mana2 je hwaaaaaaaaa! And lepastu ada 2exit right in front of me. The right side is Kajang and the left side is Sri Kembangan. I was like, Laila Sri Kembangan or Kajang? Cepaatttt! Then she also shouted, Sri Kembangan Sri Kembangan!! LOL she must be anxious just like me :D

Ok then I followed her direction bla bla bla [still, ada sesat sikit] but then lastly I found Bukit Jalil. Then I was like, fuhh! Sumpah kalau boleh nak melompat time tu juga. Lalu depan Stadium and Vista Komanwel, sumpah teringat! Both Farah's house and SJ! :( How I missed those times T___T

Alhamdulillah I reached home, finally. Thank God nothing bad happened. Now sakit2 badan drive lama sangat haih. Really wish Donghae is here, with me. Goshh I need him badly! ;(

p/s ; Orang sini memang drive lembab eh? Dah tawu slow kau amek la lane kiri bodohh taktau rules ke apa. Bongok nak mampos penat kaki aku tukar2 gear. And oh, korang tak reti guna signal ke? Bodoh dah tawu nak belok signal la ishh! Kalau aku langgar kau tadi macam mana? F**k!

Happy birthday Leeteuk!

2010-07-01T02:16:00.007+08:00

Saengil chukka hamnida! Tawu yang tu je. Yang lain tak reti haha. Happy 28th birthday Park Jung Soo oppa! Omg you're that old? Lol you should get yourself a gf :D Thanks for being a great leader. You take care of your dongsaengs very well. Eventhough you're a big bully, it doesn't matter. I loooove the way you are. You're the eldest in SJ but you're acting like you're the youngest one. Lol I remember this pretty well. But I don't remember which member said this. But it's true. Haha you can't get rid of it, right? Nevermind, I still love you ^^

This must be from the fans. ELFs are so sweet, right? Taking care of our oppas ;)

Sorry Teukie oppa tak boleh nak cakap panjang2 cz I'm not in a good shape. I hope this is enough, for now. Have a blast! ^^

p/s ; I hope the member prepared something for him. Pranks, for sure. Hee can't wait for your videos on Twitter! ;)

Tomorrow..

2010-07-01T02:11:00.003+08:00

Hm esok registration day. This morning, actually. Now is already 2.15am. I haven't prepare anything ok. Langsung. Print all the documents that will be needed pun tak. Packing pun tak. Ish apa nii?? Sumpah tak ready. Ah biar lah. Abaikan saja.

Okay tak suka jumpa semua orang esok. The 1st thing that they would ask is, how's your result? Okay ask me that and I'll slap you in the face. I'm not in the right mood to answer that kind of question.

Yeah this week mood sucks. So don't make me explode. Really.

Bad day.

2010-07-01T01:48:00.006+08:00

Screw today and tomorrow! Sumpah benci. Ok today was completely a disaster! Told ya that I hate it when people yelling at me. I don't care who you are but pleasee, don't do the things that I really don't like. Tell you what, I'm not deaf yet so don't yell at me as if I was completely deaf! Pfhh.

My mum. She scolded me just now. Everything I did was wrong. Semua tak kena. Eh apesal tah. Selalu cakap pasal dunia nak kiamat lepastu bebel pasal tak tutp aurat semua. Eh saya tawu lahh no need to remind me like, thousand times. Dulu mama pakai skirt lagi, apa cerita? Ish sumpah bengang. Dah la accuse macam2. Suka buat assumption sendiri. Eh tolong la dah la serabut pasal esok lepastu ni pula jadi. Goshh!

Don't make me curse here, please.

Benci semua. Screw everything. My life sucks. Totally.

I'm thinking bout death right now.

Random.

2010-06-29T01:46:00.009+08:00

Thank God parents dah balik yayyy no more wake up early in the morning. Haha and alhamdulillah Tokki is just fine. Mama said, after operation Tokki macam lebih ceria mama tengok. Takde la suram je macam dulu. I'm soooo glad to hear that ^^

Oh I listened to SJ's 4th Repackaged album. The songs were great! Daebakkk! <3 A short journey. A song from Eunhae to Kangin. Okay sumpah menangis. There's a lot of Kangin's voice in that song. Pffhh! Why did you have to go? Whyyyyy? T____T

Donghae, hotness overload! <3

Okay enough spamming about them. Their songs really makes my day! Boleh mimpi indah sekejap lagi :D

Oh btw I'm going out with Qusya tomorrow! Woots! ^^ Going to meet her for the 1st time since we've been a goodfriends for about 3years and more I guess. Quite long, isn't it. That is whyyy I'm so freaking excited! :D

Alright til then ~

Stuck.

2010-06-27T03:56:00.004+08:00

Get stucked with this video. *drools. Keep on playing it before I went to sleep. Video of Donghae singing this song and also the song sang by Craig David himself. I do think that Donghae did better than Craig. I mean Donghae's voice was really fit with this song. LOL sorry to Craig David fans. No offense ^^

You Don't Miss Your Water (Til The Well Runs Dry) by Craig David.

As I sail with you across the finest oceans
On our way to find the key to our emotions
Together will me move the clouds to brighter days
Some people question what I say
Try to break up you and me

But I know this love between us is growing stronger
You can call me whenever, from wherever just remember that
I'll be there through all the stormy weather
Us break up never, no, we'll be together forever

You dont miss your water till the well runs dry
But I believe so strongly with you and I
Can somebody answer me the question why?
You dont miss your water till the well runs dry

As I close my eyes, sit back while reminiscing
Of when we used to fuss and fight but end up kissing
There may be sad and painful times along the way
But in my heart you'll always be everything and more to me

For I know this love between us is growing stronger
You can call me wheneer, from wherever just remember that
I'll be there throught all the stormy weather
Us break up never, no, we'll be together forever

You dont miss your water till the well runs dry
But i believe so strongly with you and i
Can somebody answer me the question why?
You dont miss your water till the well runs dry

*Now I can go to sleep peacefully. Going to meet him in my Lalaland ^^
Goodnight~

What a day.

2010-06-27T03:18:00.008+08:00

Ok I sleep quite late last night. Mama and Ayah were away to Johor since two days ago. Tokki's matter. So I have to take care of my little sisters which I can say that they're quite annoying. Well sometimes. But they helped me a lot. Thanks adik2ku sayang :)

I woke up several times this morning. Phone calls from ayah and also an unknown number. Ignored all of it. Jihan too. Keep on waking me up. Grrr! But as usual, I'm using my 5minutes tactic. "Kak fajin bangun laaa cepat turun bawah" Then I was like, "Hm alaaaa kejap la 10minit" LOL. Not using 5minutes anymore. It is not enough I think. And been like that for how many times tah. Ok sumpah mengantuk tak larat gila nak bangun. Last2 terjaga and it was like 1pm HAHA. And I saw Jihan laid on my leg, sleeping. Poor her. Penat kejut eh sampai tertidur sekali? :D

Then I waked them up. Asked them what they wanted to eat today for lunch. Planned on bringing them to Aeon Bukit Tinggi. Okayy here's our conversation...

Shamine & Jihan ; Eee dah la mengigau tadi [baru je bangun dah cakap macam ni. ceh siot betul]
Me ; Asal pulakkkk? Mana ada menipu je.
Jihan ; Iya laaa tak percaya tanya Shamine.
Me ; Yeke? Kak fajin cakap apa?
Jihan ; Kitorang dah bangun tadi lepastu tiba2 Kak fajin cakap, "Habistu kau nak makan apa? Kaki kucing? Cuba la fikir sikit"
Me ; Hah? Tipuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Shamine & Jihan ; Eh betul laaaa kitorang saksi kot.
Jihan ; Entah dah la kuat gila cakap. Terkejut tengok. Jihan ingat Kak fajin cakap dengan siapa. Bila tengok mata pejam [while laughing hardly over me]
Me ; *Siot punya adik. Eleh biar laa mana Kak fajin sedar.

Ok and they keep on teasing me. Hey stop it okayyy. Oh buli Kak fajin ehh. Siap la korang! Haha teringat pula masa kat Sri Ayu. My roommates semua cakap saya kuat mengigau. Every morning mesti ada cerita. Satu rumah tawu. Aduhh malunya. Lepastu bahan tak sudah. Hahaha ^^

But basically I had fun today with them. Gonna missed them bila balik Bangi nanti. Hwaaaaaaaaa nak cuti lagi!!!!! :(

Oh btw Ayah texted me just now. He said the doctors are going to cut Tokki's leg due to the spreading of the diabetic bacteria err something like that. Sorry saya tak taktau bab2 medic ni. Oh God I'm praying for Tokki's health. May he recover soon! Ok sumpah risau and takut. Hopefully things will be fine. Just fine. Insyaallah..

Lee Donghae.

2010-06-18T01:02:00.002+08:00

Did you know that you stole my heart away? Don't make your innocence face please. Just come back here and be with me. You're torturing me okay seriously. I hate you for making me so in love with you. Without stalking you for one day is enough to make me feel suck. What spell did you gave me honey?

Ok this video is a fancam from Super Show 2 in Malaysia last March. Talking bout ss2 really makes me fall sick! Rinduuuuuu sampai sakit hati. I really wished that night would never end. Sumpah nak dorang ada depan mata for all the time!

Yaaa~ Donghae oppa! Why you are too hard to resist huh? I am crazily in love with you okay seriously boleh gila. For god's sake!

Si gedik.

2010-06-17T02:40:00.003+08:00

Oh lupa nak bagitau tadi Farah ajak skype. She showed us around her room. Ok kau shopping lagi kat sana? Ceit! Tak pernah berubah. But seriously, one shirt for 10RM? Lols. First time ok dengar even kat Malaysia pun tak dapat harga macam tu. Nak pergi sanaaaaa!!!!!

And oh, perlu ke kau makan crunchy depan kitorang? Grrr! Lepastu buat muka cacat kau tu kan HAHA rindu la gila! Balik cepat jangan mengada nak shopping je kat sana. Study lah! :P

Insanely retards.

2010-06-17T02:20:00.002+08:00

I watched this one video just now. A video that showed a bitch tramples over a weak kitten. I think the kitten is sick. Poor the kitten. Ok what a crazy attitude when she urghh! I can't explain it by words. Sumpah kalau video tu still ada dah suruh korang tengok sendiri. At first when she stepped her feet on the kitten's body we were like, WTF. Jihan's already cried. Totally burst. While Shamine and me, close our eyes with both of our hand. Tak sanggup nak tengok. Kesian. Pedih. Sakit. Sedih. Semua ada. From what I've clearly saw is that the girl put on her heels into the kitten's mouth and also, the kitten's eyes. Babi kann? I closed my eyes quickly and I heard the kitten's meow-ing seems like she/he was soooo in pain. Oh goshh it trembled my heart. Seriously. Bodoh nak mampus perempuan tu. And lastly she stepped on the face sampai hancur and eyeballs terkeluar. Pfft!! Ok that was absolutely pathetic! She is wayy out of control and I swear to God to punish her exactly the way she tortured the kitten.

And she laughed. Yes she laughed over the kitten's dead body. OMG do you think it's cool? Yeah IT IS COOL WHEN YOU ARE IN HELL and I am pretty sure that you really belongs to it.

Sumpah bodoh kau spoil mood aku FAHAM! This is such a worst nightmare to us seriously tak boleh lupa sampai Jihan menangis banyak kali sebab teringat. Sorry Jihan but I have no idea that the video is really that terrible. Ingatkan video apa ish sumpah menyesal tengok.

Ok Fajin please just get this out of your mind alright? Think about Donghae. His killer smile that melts your heart. And his heaven voice that could make you angau for the rest of your life. Aww I'm in love ^^

That's great. Ok now you can go to sleep. Meet Donghae in my lalaland ^^
Bonne nuit~

p/s : semua orang please sayang kucing ok lepas ni if tak suka pun jangan la sepak ke apa tolonglah.

Cant. Get. Over. With. This.

2010-06-16T02:57:00.006+08:00

I played this video on my iPod every night before I went to sleep. Wajib, ok. It was like, Donghae gave me a real kiss before I went to sleep and he take care of me while I'm sleeping LOL :P

I am so in love with you. Saya cinta awak FAHAM. Hahaha ^^

Confusion.

2010-06-14T21:02:00.002+08:00

Well, not much of a thing actually. But this thing really bothered my mind. Gosh get out, will you?

Its about him. He texted me last wednesday after been missing for a while. I'm getting used to it actually so I don't really care whether he's around or not. While texting, he asked me whether I'm free or not this saturday. I said I'm not sure yet. Maybe busy and maybe not. Kenapa eh? And he said he wanted to ask me out. I replied that I have no money at all [well actually malas nak keluar pun ada :P] But then he was like, alaa jom la i rindu u nih. Then I was like, erkk? I keep on giving excuses but he wouldn't accept it. In fact, he kept on begging me to go out with him. Ok dah pelik. I asked him, is everything alright? Do you have problems or anything? If you do, you can share it with me. And he said that he's just fine and he really missed me. Dah lama rindu you. Err boleh tak nak geli sekejap? Haha it's kinda awkward, you know.

After been arguing for quite long, he finally gave up. I said to him, if dah rindu sangat jumpa dalam mimpi je lah senang. I'll wait for you there, alright? Haha actually dah malas nak layan since I have to wake up very early tomorrow. I don't call it as tomorrow cause it's already 5.30am that time. Dah elok2 je 3am nak tido but dia punya pasal dah lambat. Bangun2 je mata bengkak sebelah haha boleh takk.

And just now, he sulked. I asked him you kenapa ni actually? He said that I don't want to go out with him so dia nak merajuk. And taknak kawan. I was like, whatthehell is wrong with him huh? Come on, I need the old arep. I tak biasa bila you macam ni. I missed you bullying me. And tease around with me. Just cut off those craps, will you? It's awkward. The situation now is really awkward. Haih.

Oh forgot to say. Err I don't know how you guys would react on this but seriously masa I refused to go out with him tu I had a strong reason. I really think that Donghae is my current bf and he's there watching me so I have to be faithful to him. What a good gf I am, right? Yes I do know that thank you :P

So now I'm just let him be. Suka hati dia lah nak merajuk ke apa. Nanti ok sendiri la tu so tak payah susah2 nak pujuk HAHA. And here his text come. Malas nak reply. Nak layan my sexy fishy. Sorry you. Lain hari, ya? :D

One week.

2010-06-14T20:25:00.007+08:00

Dear my skinny sister...

Yeah, it's been one week since you left to Scotland. I feel lonely without having you around. Yes indeed. Your absence really proves that I can't live with you being far away from me. Before sending you off to airport last week, I promised myself not to cry. But when seeing that you are really leaving, I can't take it anymore. When you're about to leave, you wanted to hug me, right? I refused to do so. Cause I don't want you to leave. But then I have to. Cause I know that I couldn't stop you. The moment when you hugged me, I can't help myself but to cry. I really burst. Shit. I really don't want to cry ok. Hey I am strong, how on Earth makes me cried that hard? Pfft.

You laughed. Maybe you're shocked to see me cried in front of you. But who cares? Those tears were just, out of control. It comes out naturally. I cried so much til I had a headache. Gahh. Dah la taknak stop. Sampai kat tempat makan pun those tears were still out. I have no idea why.

One year is quite long for me. Well actually very long. Just imagine, in one day many things could happen so what about one year? *Sigh. I miss the times that we spent together. Shopping is our passion, absolutely. But I have to admit that you are wayy more scarier than me. You are totally a shopping freak! Mama said, "farah kena cari husband yg lagi kaya dari dia, kalau tak memang tak cukup duit dia utk shopping". LOL ^^

Remember this?

Another thing is, sumpah aku tak boleh lupa time kat Pavi haritu. Ingat incident kejar-mengejar Super Junior. Stalked them from the end of the concert sampai la dorg left to the airport. So for this upcoming Super Show 3 aku nak buat semua tu dengan siapa? Tell me! If I could drive the car to stalk them pun tak guna. Aku taktau jalan ok. Not as well as you :(

Now Jihan & Shamine accompany me every night. But it's still not the same. They can't replace you. But I am glad that I had them. It's just, I hate being the eldest among them. If anything happened, I am the one to be blamed. Mama cakap aku ajar dorg benda yg tak elok. Super Junior lah apa lah sampai dorg tak belajar. Hey I'm just doing my things ok. Tak ajak pun, dorang yg datang sendiri. Hm see?

Well, actually I do have loads of things to say but only this that I could think off for now. Taknak la cakap banyak sangat kang kau perasan lebih susah pulak :P Dah, take a good care of yourself there. Keep mailing me ok! Kau hilang siap kau! Oh btw if Family Outing and Come to Play dah ada full subs let me know ok. Tehee :D

p/s : Donghae is mine. He will forever be! :P

Whyyyy!! ;(

2010-05-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

i guess this week is just a bad week. cried for most of the time. i dont know why, but i just cant hold on my tears. it flows out naturally. reading and watching all of these stuff is enough to make me, urgh cant describe it by words. it's just, too sad ;(

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYrc1I8Tgvc&feature=related

gila babi menangis when i watched this video. eventhough its just an audio, but i still can hear the sad voices, all of the ELF and SuJu members cried as well. the situation is just, aihh i can imagine it. the sadness are all over the place! T____T i cant help myself but cried when i heard kangin's voice. guess i've been missing him too much! and so the other two missing members, hangeng and kibum. when kangin gave the speech, i can hear all of the members especially teukie and heechul, and the ELFs cried out loud. kangin himself, cried as well.

i really miss you oppa! i hope u'll be doing very well in the national service. wish you all the best! 2years more, right? don't worry, we, the ELFs will always be here, waiting for you. waiting for you to perform with another 12members. eventhough based on the hangeng's situation, i know it'll be damn impossible for him to get back into SuJu , i believe that someday, you'll be back together as thirteen. the same old THIRTEEN.

shindongdonghaekanginyesungsungminkyuhyunkibumhankyungheechuleunhyukryeowookshiwonleeteuk

I PROM15E TO 13ELIEVE! Super Junior + ELFs = One
You will be my endless love <3 <3 <3

Abandoned.

2010-05-24T03:27:00.000+08:00

hai blog kesayangan saya! anda sihat? haha wtf. gila lama tak post blog. gahh. hm where should i start eh? since dah lama tak post so mcm awkward pula nak type. haha well as u can see, im just fine. enjoying this boring hols everr! but wait, it's not that bored since i got plenty of suju's video to watch. i do actually watched all of them but can't resist myself to watch it over and over again. i have to admit that it is my current addiction. and suju is my obsession!

well, there's sooooo much things happened lately. about suju? banyaakkkk! about me, myself? hurm have to think about it. banyak juga lah. i gained soo much weight ok it makes me look like a fatty bum bum! haha konon nak kurus, tah bila tah nak kurus kalau asyik nak melantak je. guessed im too happy sebab tu lah asyik makan je. pimples pun naik as usual. despite the fact that the pre menstrual syndrome , time tak period pun ada juga pimples. haish.

about my social life, hm so far relationship dengan semua orang ok saja. rindu dengan kawan2 lama. tah bila agaknya boleh jumpa. since lately i was too lazy sebab mcm dah melekat je dekat atas tilam dengan laptop yg penuh current news about my boys. in case i havent told u this yet, i didnt switch off my laptop since last week! just imagine! haha why? jangan tanya kenapa. hee :P

i rejected 4guys. im not in the mood into a relationship, seriously. my heart is belong to someone else. sorry, guys. who'd ask u to fall in love with me? duhh, cari la girl lain. im a bad person, u know. and please, dont force me to give u chances. once i told u that i dont want, i would forever stick to it. note that, please. dont hurt yourself. susah juga cakap dengan orang yang tak faham bahasa neh. reject cara kasar kang, mcm rude pula. reject cara baik, mintak peluang lah apa lah. so macam mana neh? hm pedulikan saja.

so what's my plan during this sem break? entah la. nak kerja tp 1month left. macam malas la pulak. tp nak buat apa kt rumah? dah la lately neh cuaca panas macam tahi. to the government, plant more trees, please? panas sangat sampai bangun berpeluh2. mcm baru lepas marathon. urghh!

ok lah i think thats all for now since my head didnt work that much. a sudden headache :(
from now on, i'll try to keep this blog alive, ok! hee :D

bonne nuit ^^

Glad that I'm happy.

2010-03-20T16:07:00.000+08:00

living this life without him is not as hard as what i've thought.
i think that i'll not be able to went this through alone.
thank god that it is much more easier than what i've imagined.

im currently enjoying my life.
living without him is much much more easier.
no more pain, no more heartache and no more tears.
that is what i have wished for.
congratulations, fajin. u made it very well!

going out with arep last thursday was totally a blast!
he makes me feel secure and comfortable.
i think that im totally in love with him since i cant even stop thinking of him.
for god's sake sumpah rasa mcm angau gila.
no i have to control it, okay.
its too early, i guess.
lagipun tak harap lebih dlm relationship neh.
i preferred to stay this way.
lebih selesa.

watched a movie titled dear galileo with him.
that movie was, so-so.
actually i've planned to watch alice in wonderland 3D but he dont want to.
dia cakap tu cerita budak2. jahat kan?
so terpaksa la tengok dear galileo. dia nak sangat tengok cerita tu.
apa yang best tah aku pun taktau. hah maybe sebab ada cute girls kott.
haha lelaki, expected lah.
the last part of the movie was kinda sad.
im touched so mcm keluar la tears sikit.
and he noticed it pastu dia gelak mcm tahi and bahan tak sudah.
haishh geram je tengok.

keluar dari movie dia tanya, "u nak balik mcm mana neh?"
then i said, "err taktau. nape u tak boleh hantar ke?"
he replied, "memang la i hantar, i saje je tanya tadi"
damn sumpah cuak. grrr!
then dia ajak lepak dgn ejat and his cousin kejap.
so ikut je la.
jumpa kt mamak.
bila duduk je, ejat ckp, "aku ingat perempuan mana la kau bawak td arep, rupanya pajin"
then arep said, "kau pun tawu kan aku ada dia je"
damn. haha then i was like, "ejat asal u ckp mcm tu?"
ejat said, "takde la i tgk u mlm neh lain mcm je"
okay tak faham dah so malas nak cerita.

after lepak arep ajak ejat and his cousin tlg teman hantar aku balik.
sebab takut dia mengantuk drive sorg2 balik nanti.
so they seat at the back.
borak2 ngn arep but then suddenly arep said, "u u, cuba u tgk belakang"
i looked at the back and saw ejat and his cousin is sleeping.
haha sumpah comel okay cz cousin ejat lean his head on ejat's shoulder.
dah la dorg dua orang tu kecik.
so mcm comel sgt. hee :D

masa dah sampai tu mcm sedih je nak berpisah.
its 2am that time and takut juga tak lepas nak masuk.
arep tunggu kat luar sampai aku betul2 dah masuk dalam hostel.
gate dah kunci, try gate yg kecik tu tak boleh buka.
serious cuak. panggil guard tp takde respond.
so try balik buka gate kecik and thank god boleh lepas.
masa lalu kt pondok guard tu tgk pakcik guard tengah tido.
no wonder la senyap je. haih

i texted arep saying that im already inside.
and i thanked him sebab sanggup hantar balik.
then sampai bilik sumpah rasa cm nak pengsan sebab sgt la exhausted.
lepas tu arep pula text.
i said to him, "tunggu u sampai baru text okay. bahaya la texting while driving"
then dia ckp taknak so terpaksa la layan.
5am baru tido.
then 7am bangun balik nak siap g class.

okay its a good news sebab pagi tu masa dalam class eco im not feeling sleepy at all!
it was the first time okay seriously.
taktau lah kenapa tp rasa mcm happy!
dlm class pun boleh concentrate and for the first time ada eye-contact dengan lecturer without feeling sleepy.
bagus kan?
syu mira n lela semua pelik and dorg ckp, "kenapa kau tak tido weh?"
then i was like, "shhh! focus focus"
hahaha then syu sambung, "kedai iqhuan"
mula2 tak berapa nak faham tp bila balik rumah cerita kt ieka dia gelak mcm tahi.
rupa2nya focus focus tu nama kedai abg iqhuan.
bahahah bengong!

alright the conclusion is, i can now live on my own.
in fact, rasa lega dapat lepas dari semua masalah.
thank you friends. and thanks, arep.
for supporting me up whenever i was down.
you guys are the best and i love u til death!
:) :) :)

I'm going crazy.

2010-03-14T02:08:00.000+08:00

hati ini tiba2 merindui si dia.

rindu yang teramat, sangat.

si dia membuat hari2 ku terasa sangat indah.

adakah ini cinta?

oh tidakk!
tidak secepat ini.
come on, fajin..
baru break, kott

Feelingless.

2010-03-14T01:39:00.000+08:00

we broke up, just now.
finally we are.
hati aku pun dah tawar.
and there's nothing left to say [tiba2 mcm nak nyanyi lagu lady gaga-eh eh, there's nothing else i can say] :P
thanks to him sebab buat aku mcm ni.
yang peliknya aku tak menangis, langsung.
kenapa eh?
mungkin disebabkan sudah terlalu penat untuk menangis sebab dia.
atau mungkin airmata sudah kering..
hmm abaikan sahaja.

yang penting aku tidak sesedih dulu.
kenapa? there's something that makes me feel strong inside.
apakah ia? tak berani nak cakap, takut kecewa di kemudian hari.
just let the time decide.
maybe ini jalan yang terbaik untuk kami.
and bak kata ieka, " kau akan hidup dalam kenangan"
yes, i have to admit that.
there's just so many memoirs of ours.
takpe lah, pengalaman...

adakah ini buat aku serik untuk bercinta?
naah, im not a loser.
but maybe yes, and maybe no.
tak tahu lah. tiba2 malas nak fikir.
kadang2 kusut dengan kehadiran lelaki.
nak kata aku suka perempuan, boleh tahan juga.
tapi takde lah sampai ke tahap lesbian.
aku masih boleh berfikir.

sekarang kerja aku hanyalah untuk belajar.
study study and study.
masalah aku yang paling utama sekarang adalah tidur di dalam kelas.
dah mcm habbit pula. *big sighs
lecturer pun dah faham dgn perangai aku.
ada yg tegur, dan ada juga yg biarkan sahaja.
mereka faham, agaknya. life of a student, mmg mcm tu.. kan?

final pun sudah semakin hampir.
sekarang mmg busy dgn assignment and test.
bila lah nak cuti sem? tak sabar sgt.
nak rehatkan minda yang penuh dgn kekusutan ni.
plan banyak takyah cakap.
last2 satu pun tak jalan. haishh.

dah lah, masa untuk tidur.
esok nak kena bangun awal..
nak basuh baju, buat assignment, study bel.
baiklah, selamat malam dunia.
semoga dapat mimpi yang indah.

bonne nuit :)

Weirdo.

2010-02-23T22:51:00.001+08:00

arep texted me last night.

but i didnt reply his text bcz im so damn busy, doing my assignments.

then before i went to sleep, i text him.

he asked me to call him for a while.

its 3am that time.
god, i really need to sleep.
but i called him though.

and he asked me so many things okay.

he also start to call me as "sayang"

then i was like, gila apa mamat neh.

and he would like me to accompany him that night.

cz he couldnt sleep at all.

so we talked, a lot.

i teased him so many times and he sulked!

omg sgt tak percaya.

and he said that i dont understand him and he's so dissappointed.

i said, im sorry la okay.

then dia merajuk pula.

haishh apa kena la ngn arep neh.

bila dah okay tu dia mcm mengada2 pula.

i asked him whether he is sick or what,

but he said that he's just fine.

dalam hati mcm, salah mkn ubat agaknya dia neh.

slalu suka buli2 tp mlm td tak pula.

bila orang buli dia balik, merajuk.

and tak boleh terima.

weird, isnt it?

dah dah. malas nak fikir.

banyak lagi assignment nak kena buat.

taaa!

Such a heartache.

2010-02-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

I just cant believe that he would do such thing to me.
It's just, unbelievable.
He makes me cry, again.
It sucks. Yes it is.

I'm regret for being soo nice to him.
Always comforting him whenever he needs.
Always giving him another chance when he make mistakes.
I'm trying my best out of everything,
to let him know that i really love him.
But he never appreciate it.

A good heart always ends up broken.

Whyy? Why is he treating me like this?
Tension with loads of assignments?
Yes i do understand that.
Cz we both are in the same situation.

When i have problems, i share it with u.
Because only u can make me feel better.
But why u didn't do the same thing?
I don't really care about that.
But please, jaga hati i.

You also broke our promises.
You said that it's just between both of us.
But you're the one who broke it.
You don't even notice that, don't ya?
Because you never care about it.

You don't really know how much it hurts.
I'm not that strong, you know that right?

The last thing i would like you to know.
I had enough of this.
So please, stop.
And stay away from my life!

Such an idiot.

2010-02-16T04:14:00.000+08:00

Okay why am i such an idiot?
Simple.

I'm in love!
With who? You really dont want to know who is that person.
Damn.

Kemalasan yang melampau.

2010-02-15T17:53:00.000+08:00

i supposed to go bangi last friday, to take some of my stuff there.
books, perfume, and clothes.
cz its been a week i didnt went to college.
im infected by chicken pox, yes.
damn, kan?

so i missed a lot!
i mean, A LOT!
quizzes and test for sure.
and rasa mcm rugi gila tak dtg class account cz im starting to like the subject.
yela, since dah faham neh kan.
semangat je nak belajar.
kalau tak dulu dengar "account" je, i feel like vomiting.
menyampah sangat.
sampai sanggup pergi clinic minta mc semata2 nak skip class.
padahal bukannya sakit pun. ahaha :P

okay back to the story.
disebabkan malas yg teramat sangat, i keep on postponing.
the actual plan nak pergi pagi, then postpone tengahari pstu petang.
last2 tak pergi juga.
pastu cm, hm takpe, g esok je.
and here it is, sampai sekarang pun tak pergi2 lagi.
its already monday.
satu assignment pun tak usik lagi.
nak buat revision lagi, sempat ke?
damn.

The truth is out!

2010-02-15T02:42:00.000+08:00

The naked truth are always better than the best dressed lies.

I finally know the true story.
Sorry for saying all the bad things about u.
I promised to myself that I'll be more careful next time.

Thanks, friends.
I'm glad to have u! :)

Hye blog!

2009-12-29T18:00:00.000+08:00

its been ages since my last post.
damn lama gila kot.
just got back from bangi.
settlekan pasal registration sume.
such a tiring day!
tulang kaki pun mcm nak tertanggal je.
haha :)

oh oh! good news!
duit mara dah dapat tadi. yeaayyyyyyyyy!
mcm nak jerit out loud.
sumpah excited mcm tahi.
oh my ipod, here i comee!
hehe supposed to meet uncle arep tadi, but cancel.
mcm malas and rushing plus penat.

and and, kesian juga kt mira.
sbb plan nak teman dia g jusco.
buat pe tah dia nak g sana.
bila tanya malas pula nak jawab. haish.
tunggu duit mara punya pasal, tu yang tak sempat.

hah another good news..
next sem boleh pilih nak satu class ngn housemate or else.
and lecturer juga boleh pilih.
what a great news kan? woot-woott.
kalau boleh memang taknak lecturer account yang sama.
huhu nak lecturer lela. hee!

oh alrite, got to go.
farah gedik nak guna laptop.
heesh sibuk je. kacau betul.
til then~

terlupa pula.
sgt berterima kasih kepada housemates, lela, syu, khai, ieka, mira and not forgotten, nazira.
sebab membantu dalam proses register td.
and lela, thanks sgt2 tumpangkan kte tadi tau. had sooo much fun with u.
saaaayaaannggg korangg!

Raya haji.

2009-11-27T12:04:00.000+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha to all muslims!

will go to terengganu aft solat jumaat.
then monday balik johor pula.
will spend about 5days at johor.
its quite long.
but its okay, johor best! agaga =p

alright, got to go.
got loads of things to do.
till then. take care, friends!
i love you! ;)

A crazy night.

2009-11-27T03:10:00.000+08:00

my two little sister slept together with me.
oh i mean, dorg menyibuk nak tdo sama. heesh
pstu bukannya tdo awal pun.
pot pet pot pet je manjang.

oh we snap a few pictures together.
take a look :)

now, close ur eyes.

shut ur mouth =p

oh, ini jihan gedik.

last but not least, picture of me! :D
sorry buruk. nak tdo dah pun.

im kind of sleepy that time.
its 3am.
shamin dah lama tdo.
when im about to sleep, jihan disturb me.

jihan ; kak fajin nak tdo dah ke?
me ; haah, nape?
jihan ; ala jgn la tdo dulu. jihan tak boleh tdo la..
me ; asal xle tdo pulak? slalu jihan yg tdo awal. pukul9 je dh tdo.
jihan ; yela, td mse kt kedai makan tu jihan minum nescafe ice, sebab tu la tak ngntuk.
me ; yg jihan g minum air tu buat apa?
jihan ; yela, sebab jihan nak tdo lewat.
me ; eh jap, mana jihan tawu minum nescafe tahan ngantuk?
jihan ; jihan tawu laa, mama bgtwu.
me ; *lol. dah mcm org tua, pandai minum nescafe.
jihan ; jom la tgk tv kt bwh, pstu masak maggi mcm kak fajin buat dgn shamin haritu.
me ; malass. dah tdo tdo. zzzzzzzz

haha mmg dah malas gle nk layan time tu.
bukan apa, mmg dah mengantuk sgt.
patut la dia tahan ngantuk, rupanya nak join ktorg tdo lambat masa haritu.
but sorry jihan, malam tu mmg ngantuk gle.
ahaha bukan rezeki dia. wee

Ikea, here we come!

2009-11-22T03:15:00.000+08:00

well, dah lama sgt tak kua 1family.
so we [just six of us, haikal's excluded] went to ikea, to buy some plants for mama's mini garden.
garden? cehh, poyo je.
haha so we fetch farah at imu first then we headed to damansara.

its a crowd there, full with people.
i planned to buy table lamp, so we took a survey.
but mama said, "k.i.v first. next time beli"
urghh! geram je.

oh then we saw this cute little gal. comel, kan?

and we continued walking.

poyo je :D

jihan liked this little chair. how cute, isnt it?

mama n ayah. muka tension je. haha

see? lastly we bought 5 kind of plants.
penat je jalan.
tp beli neh je. haish

dah dah, will be continued....
:)

Making our own assumptions.

2009-11-20T03:01:00.000+08:00

went out to mcD with my bestie that day.
but only for a while.
lama gila tak jumpa dia.
damn. miss her loads!
so, we talked about sooooo many things.
im kinda jealous when i heard that she's kinda close with her friends there.
haha pelik je.
but nothing serious pun lah. hee :D

somehow we do talked about our "friendship" thingy.
like i mentioned in my previous post.
im pretty shocked, after heard the latest story. *sighs
so, we think and think over this, and finally, we found the conclusion.
what my bestie thought is the same thing as what my housemates said.
exactly the same.
told my another two besties, a.k.a my ex-neighbour & my ex-classmate, they also said the same thing.
its unbelievable, u know.
but i dont really know whether it is true or not.
just let the time decide.

oh i forgot to snap pictures with her.
haish. selalu je lupa

Friends.

2009-10-31T19:37:00.000+08:00

friendship. one word, but BIG meanings.
i just feel like i've been back stabbed by my own friend.
a friend that i used to consider as my bff.
how hurt it was.
u'll never know how it feel.

i feel like im crashed by a hardstone.
breathless. susah nak describe...
kena rasa sendiri mcm mana perasaan tu.
baru je nk happy2.
tp bila dpt tawu about this thing, omg.
im speechless. and startled.
and im wondering, am i such a bad friend to ya?
if i did, give me a strong reason.
enough to make me believe that this is all bcz of my fault.

aku dh byk kali terasa dgn kau..
tp pernah ke aku ckp blkg psl kau?
nak kata aku tak contact kau, aku text kdg2.
tp kau tak pernah reply pun.
call kau juga, sometimes.
tp kdg2 tak berjawab, if ada pun alasan kau, "busy"
nak kata kau contact aku?
hm tak pernah pula.
dah tu, apa sebenarnya yg buat kau ckp mcm2 pasal aku?
sumpah terasa. and masih berbisa lg sekarang ni.
betapa dalamnya luka tu.

aku tanya kawan2 yg lain, "ada tak ****** contact kau?"
and dorang jawab, "ada je, nape?"
owh okay. dah pelik.
tp aku diam, kan?
aku still pk positive.
indeed, i was blaming myself.
aku pk maybe salah aku juga dah lama tak contact kau bla bla bla.
heh how funny it was, kan?

aku kt hostel, tension dgn mcm2 masalah.
and i was hoping that i could turn back the time.
the time when all of us laughing together, how i missed those time.
i always think that among all of my friends, u guys are the best.
still, the best.
but it turns out to be happened like this.
why? just tell me why?!

was it because of me?
sebab aku cm dah lain? or sebab aku cm dh sombong?
heck, that was such a stupid reason.
i hope u guys would understand how much i suffer there.
problems kept on coming to me.
about my housemates, classmates and studies.
i dont actually enjoyed my life there.
cz i still miss spending time with my old friends somehow.
but..

this is the worst feeling i've ever felt.
lebih teruk dari time aku break up dulu.
sbb aku syg kwn2 aku, more than everything.
aku dh anggap korang a part of my family.
tp kenapa korang tak anggap aku mcm tu?
i didnt blame all of u. sorry.
but i knw, one of u is talking behind my back.
why eh?
if aku ada sakitkan hati kau, please ckp terus dgn aku.
takyah cte blkg.
sooner or later, aku dpt tawu gak bnda neh.
and here, it is happening.

im pissed.
nk ikutkan hati nak je aku tanya kau direct.
tp tkpe lah, bak kata arep, "u ignore je bnda neh.. sebok sgt pk psl org lain. just think about yourself first"
thank u, pakcik.
but its easy for u to say.
its hard for me to pretend like nothing happened.
but after spending the whole night thinking of this thing,
i guess u're right.
lagipun i tanak babitkan org yg tak bersalah.
and oh, thanks to my teman setia, [her name cannot be mention here, sorry]
for always supporting me whenever i was down.
sumpah aku sayang gila kau.
and for the rest of my friend as well.

and the most important person is, my mum.
she is the best person on earth!
she woke me up this morning, and give me a big hug.
she said, "dah la, jgn sedih2 lagi. focus dgn exam awk tu dulu.. after this boleh settle balik hal neh"
then she asked me to get ready to go breakfast with the rest of my family.
i love u mum ;)

so i decided to keep on pretending.
tengok la sampai bila boleh bertahan.
i could forgive her, someday.
tu pun if she still consider me as her "friend"
kawan je cukup, tak payah sampai ke tahap bestfriend.
cz u dont know what is the meaning of that word.
tak harapkan lebih pun. cikit pun jadi la.
susah nk cari true friends.
but thank god dalam banyak2 kawan yang aku ada,
aku dah jumpa orang yang layak dpt title "true friends" tu.
thanks sebab pernah jadi kawan aku masa dulu.

Today..

2009-08-31T14:00:00.000+08:00

went out with my parents this afternoon.
bought my baju kurung for hari raya at shah alam.
the nearest place, kot.
malas nk g jauh2 since its a fasting month.
at first i dont want to buy any shoes.
planned to buy it by myself.
or maybe, with khai.
because tomorrow we're going to midvalley.

but then, saje masuk Primavera.
just wanna have a look.
huh takde apa yg menarik pun.
but ayah got himself a new pair of shoes there.
then mum said, beli la skali.. kan senang.
and she showed me this wedges.
mcm tak suka, cz its in black.
but beli je [dlm keadaan terpaksa]
uwaaaaaaaaa!!!!

dlm kete, he texted [arep].
a few messages, but then we stopped.
im running out of credits.
eheh :D
but im happy! lalala~

oh oh!
td mama tanya, awk couple dgn faiz eh?
oh damn. terdiam kot time tu.
tnya mama, mana tawu?
she said, farah yg ckp.
tp mama taktau la betul ke tak.
so betul ke?
i was like, errr..
tu dulu la ma.. now dah tak dah.
huhu relax je jwb, kan?
tp dlm hati, macam2!
siap kau farah! urghh

A few changes.

2009-08-31T13:09:00.000+08:00

well, this is not the real me, actually.
he made me changed. so drastically.
said that he need time, to make our relationship becomes better.
but heck, he didnt.
he make it even worse.
he lied to me. and hell i believed.
why am i so stupid?
for falling in love with a jerk like him?

arep said that i need to leave him.
so that it would be less hurt for me.
but i still, give him another chances.
why am i being so nice with him?
although he never appreciate it. never, at all.

now, the truth is revealed.
and im really hurt.
its such a heartache.
everything is over now.
i need to make a move.
waiting for him, its like waiting for a rain in a drought.
hopeless, and disappointed.

friends, help me.
help me out from this grief.
i trust u, friends.
only u guys can make me feel better.
and thanks.
thanks 4 always be there by my side.
i love you!

and u, boy..

Please, leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

The Veronicas, Leave Me Alone.

Happy Eid Mubarak .

2009-08-30T12:35:00.000+08:00

hey people,
Selamat Berpuasa!
eventhough dah puasa ke-8, but still, not too late right?
haha nway, im back home!
waaa rinduuu!
my blog! aduih. lama sudah tidak update.
masalah besar neh.
dah la for the past 2weeks neh, mcm2 bnda jd.
aihh. mana nak start? aigoo~

last week, almost overnight lua with my housemates.
but seperate ways.
nazira & ika, lepak KL with their scandal.
lela, join me at first, but then jmpa her boyf at masjid jamek.
then she planned nk overnight with her classmates.
me? dgn 3guys. aduih.
lepak pavi, tgk movie til 2am.
dgn siapa? arif, ejat, n cousin ejat.
cane kenal dorg? huh its a long story, i bet u.
but arif, godd.
no words can describe him.
gila caring. tp jahat. suka buli.
ada ke dia kata i bdk2 lg. geram tol.

haha but then, dorg ckp nk overnight o nak balik?
then i said, hantar i balik je la.
dorg risau gak actually, since if i balik, tkde spe kt hostel.
sume org overnight lua.
but mse tu tak pk apa dah. yg penting nk balik.
lalu dpn sri ayu, tgk gate dh kunci.
confirm guard byk tnya nnt. adess.
last2, suruh dorg drop tepi petronas.
situ ada lg 1gate. tp agak scary. wuhh~
then panjat gate. alhamdulillah lepas.

smpi je blik, ejat text.
tnya dh lepas blm.
then i said, im safe. no need to worry :)
few minutes aft that, arep pulak text.
then he called.
ok, borak lama gila kot.
since 3am til subuh.
gila. smpi miss sahur.
oh lupa, its the 1st ramadhan time tu.
huhu and til now, we're still keep in touch with each other :D

the conclusion is, im happy!

Tralala trilili =)

2009-07-11T10:51:00.000+08:00

hari neh mood baik. tp separuh je. ngeh2.

now kt rumah farah. waiting 4 ayah to come and fetch me up.
yeayy tak sabanya nk balik rumah!
homesick juga aku neh rupanya. hee :D
ok enough. nk cte panjang lg neh.

i want to introduce u with my housemates.
ok actually 1rumah ada 8org.
2bilik 30rg, and another 1room 2pax.
so my roommates is mira n ieka.
mira frm johor, ieka frm sarawak.
next to my room is nabila [akak], laila & nazira.
ok nabila to plg tua nk compare ngn ktorg sume.
cz she's currently 22years old.
wondering why she's staying with us?
lain kali cte. malass =p

another 1room is syu & khai.
frankly speaking, dorg sume mmg best.
tp biasa la, ada lah juga cket masalah dalaman.
its a common thing, i guess?
hmm fyi, baru2 neh nazira suka gila menyempit kt bilik ktorg.
punya la penakut, mlm2 ajak ieka mandi sama.
hehe suka gila kay sakat nazira.
sampai menangis dia haritu.
jahat tak? haha.
and and, syu pun sama.
haritu pun tdo blik ktorg juga.
dia kata xle tdo.
haih macam2 masalah.

as for me, last nite seriously xle tdo.
semua org dh tdo, try dga lagu tak ngantuk.
main game pun sama, tkde effect lgsg.
then called him, ckp xle tdo sume.
and kebetulan, mse tu mmg rindu dia sgt.
taktau npe. ish gedik, kan? haha peduli apa =p
so lama gak la on the phone.
and ttdo dlm kul4 cmtu, kot?
pstu terjaga kul 7lbeh. dh nak dekat kul8 [miss solat subuh. duhh]
terjaga cz dga bunyi bising, dorg sume bersiap nk g class.
igt boleh tdo balik aft that.
tp tak, automatic terus bangun.
pdhal class start kul11.
then mira jerit suruh bangun.
macam mak nenek je. heheh :D
tp baik, tlg belikan breakfast. thanks mira. syg kau gila babengs ;)

me & mira

ok neh ada gmba2 dorg. tgk laa =)

frm left ; mira, laila, ieka, nazira

ieka & khai. comel kan dorg?

mira & nabila [akak]

nazira & me :)

ey kejap2, gtg. ayah dah sampai. aaaaa!
bubye!

Rindu.

2009-07-06T05:08:00.000+08:00

last post 16th may?

damn. whatthefish.

baru perasan betapa busynya sy semenjak kebelakangan neh. fuhh!

apa nk cte ek? banyak, kot.

tp jap lg nk pegi dah.

balik hostel. esok class start.

aaaaaaa malasnya nk balik!!!

anyway, orientation haritu mcm tahi.

tp ada yg bestnya.

so far ok la. no comment.

ngn si dia? hm setakat neh hubungan ktorg sihat.

cuma haritu ada sakit sikit.

tp ok dah. cuma salah faham je.

haih sensitif betul aku neh rupanya.

ngengs.

ala actually byk gila benda nk cte kay.

pasal housemates, pasal kolej, pasal budak2 kt sana yg perangai pelik2, and byk lg la.

nnt la kay, the next post kot.

mayb ada gmba skali. hehe insyaallah.

alright, til then. taaa! :)

Untitled.

2009-05-16T16:06:00.000+08:00

Aaaaaa!
rindu blog mcm tahi!!
asyik tak sempat je nk update.
tell u what, soooo many things i want to share with u.
but ahh, its just, too many.
otak pun dh jd beban.
tp taktau where to start.
ala xyah cte la. malas la pula tbe2. hehe :D

oh oh, now Samantha in charge at the bistro.
Fadzillah go back to JB.
but she'll be back on next week [tuesday]. so, yuhuuuu!
happy gila wehh. Samantha scary kott.
tp dia ok actually. cuma byk mulut cket.
haha guess what? dorg sume call Samantha "big mother"
siot je. tak baik tol. haha

seriously penat. and tak tahan.
nak je resign. dah 3weeks in a row tak dpt off day.
whoaaaa come on! i need a break.
told Samantha already about the resignation.
its a 30days notice.
but she said if i wanted to give the resignation letter now, can, but my last day working will be on end of june.
oh god. im dying.
cz she said, lack of staff.
the new staff, a.k.a Luo Wei, is still very slow.
so mcm paper work tu sume dia xle buat.
wallawehh. maati.

oh oh, i am currently hate Raby.
not just only me, but Fadzillah also.
she said that Raby is too bossy. mengalahkan manager.
mcm dia je boss kt situ.
and yes, mmg btl pun.
ee seriously menyampah ngn dia. sgt la annoying.
urghhh!

well, so far everything goes very well.
not very well la, so-so.
i still love this job. but sometimes i need a break.
haritu j-card day worked for 12hours.
haih just imagine. customer dtg mcm air banjir.
non-stop. smpai kena queue.
tp ok la, at least ada benda nk buat.
if tkde customer boring tol. sangap je. huhuh

ok la, dah lewat neh.
will talk again later. taaa!

Big deal.

2009-04-21T14:12:00.001+08:00

i hate this 1gal.

called her MC. she'a a chinese.

why i hate her? simple.

just now i forgot to bring my apron.

then she told Poh Sim about it.

diam2 je dah aa. kuat mengadu tol.

urghhh!

i got scolded. bukan scold la actually.

tegur and nasihat.

ala, dh tertinggal. nak buat mcm mana?

tp semalam pula tertinggal cap.

gila malang betul nasib.

kenapa kau, fajin? dah nyanyuk ke? aigoo~

Raby take a break for 1hour. he went back to his hostel, and sleep.

after he came back, he told me that just now when he sleep, he had a dream about me.

i was like, "u're lying eh?"

then he said, "no, its true. its u in my dream"

muka dia mcm serious gila kot.

at first i thought he was joking.

but bila dia ckp mcm tu, okayy dah pelik.

so i went to another place.

larikan diri drpd dia.

dlm hati mcm, "ee asal dia mimpi aku pulak?"

tak suka betul.

then, got this 1chinese family. the man asked for chilli sauce. and i took it for him. suddenly he said, "u're a chinese or malay?" i replied, "me? im a malay lah. why?" then he said, "malay aa? why u didnt speak malay?" i was like, whats wrong with that? but i just smiled. then he said, "kenapa? sudah takmau jd melayu lg aa?" haha gila betul. its not like that. dh byk kali mcm tu. ada certain customer siap speaking chinese lg. apa dorg ingat aku neh chinese apa ke? urghh.

later that evening, Fadzillah gone. she'll be at JB for 3days. tomorrow i'll had the opening lessons with Poh Sim. aihh. things are getting harder :( oh oh, when im taking a break yesterday, Fadzillah said to me that the kitchen chef had a crush on me. cz he always look at me, and smile widely. i dont know anything about it. she's kidding, i guess. hahah yea! tp mcm notice juga, kdg2 tu he stare at me. ishh tah la. scaryy. pagi tadi mse mula2 dtg, he smiled and said, "morningg ;)" lol funny!

my work schedule for this week is changed.

Monday : 12pm ~ 8.30pm

Tuesday to Thursday : 9.30am ~ 6pm

Friday : Not on duty

Weekends : 10.30am ~ 7pm

will work for 8hours++ from now onwards.

hah! BIG DEAL. penat mcm tahi.

What a hectic day!

2009-04-19T14:51:00.001+08:00

saturday. mmg sgt busy.
td table pun full. and ktorg mcm tak cukup tgn.
but thank god there's another 2staff joined us.
so takde lah mcm berat sgt.
haihh.

nothing much happened today.
the big boss is still didnt come.
but her son, yes. just now he came in, and eat.
ada lah tu dia nk complain.
hm got this white man & woman. oh its a couple.
when i passed by, the white man called me.
he said that he wanted the earl grey tea.
and then he said something, but it wasnt clear.
so asked him, "excuse me?"
and he repeated. but still, i didnt understand.
pekat betul english accent dia. haih.
but Tekman cover. oh thank god.

got back home.
supposed to meet him after work, but tak jadi.
he got another thing to do :(
just now, had a barbecue with the neighbors.
alhamdulillah, kenyang sgt.
me & mira, we talked a lot with abg fauzi.
he got a sense of humor.
ahah sooo funny! we talked about korean drama for sure [boys over flower].
he said that he already watched it til the end.
ohh mana bolehh! tak aci laah.
haha and another thing is, he always said one of the character's name, jihun instead of jihu.
lols =p selalu ketawa pasal tu ;)

after finished, went inside the house.
and oh, farah just arrived home from KLIA.
she just got back from Australia.
and she brought loads of things.
most important thing is, chocolates! haha yeayyy! ;)
she bought me a purse! its roxy. white in colour. aihh love it!
but i want the shirt too. but farah said, pilih nak yg mana. satu je.
then she said better if i take the purse. cz its more expensive compare to the shirt.
purse, $50. shirt, $5.
hahah. see the difference? so i chose the purse.
=)

How lucky I am..

2009-04-18T19:26:00.000+08:00

okay. today was soo busy.
got so many customers.
til i have to run a little bit. oh god.
no more walking, standing and relaxing.
semua macam kelam kabut. aaaaa pening!

Fadzillah, a.k.a bistro manager, told me that the big boss is coming later today.
oh oh. yesterday her son's already came.
and guess what? he's handsome! and wow, gorgeous! tinggi pula tu.
*im melted. bwahahah ;)
at first, i thought the big boss is a man.
but nope, its a woman.
i asked Fadzillah, how does her face looks like?
and she said, "laa, gambar dia kan ada kt almari yg ada work schedule tu"
so i quickly opened the almari, and whoaa! scaryyy.
lols =p. jahat je. kan?
my first impression is, she looks like a witch.
macam mak Junpyo.
hahah just kidding. tak baik je ckp macam tu.
i mean she's beautiful, tp muka macam garang sikit la. ngee =D

at 5pm, when i was about to leave, my parents came.
its a big shock, u know.
haha they asked me to eat along with them.
but Fadzillah said, "fajin g amik staff meal then makan kt table number3. tak boleh makan dgn parents, kejap lg boss sampai"
so i told my parents about it. and they said, "hmm tkpe lah"
good for me! balik before boss datang. yeayy!
tkde lah nk mengadap muka dia.
wahahah. how lucky am I. right? =)

after finished eating, we went to Pizza Hut.
Haikal mengidam pizza. gedik tol. we ordered the pizza [takeaway], then we left.
wanted to buy some other stuff.
and mum asked me to buy a compact powder.
so i bought myself the johnson & johnson pure mild compact powder.
its good for young's skin, i guess.
i said to mum, "ma, loreal?"
then mum said, "tak sesuai lah. awak kulit muda"
err okayy.

after buying things, we seperate.
cz i drove another car.
tu lah, i said to mum, "npe tak ckp awal2 nak dtg? kalau tawu td xyah drive g kerja. g naik bus. then balik sama2"
mum said, "hm tu la. mama pun lupa nk ckp dgn awk. dah tkpe lah. awk drive. elok2 bwk kete tu"
heh. macam la sy baru sehari dapat lesen. hahah =p

oh when i got back home,
mum said, "fajin, td mse mama lalu dpn Lavender nk amik pizza, tmpt keje awk tu blackout"
and i was like huh?? haha kenapa la i dh tkde time tu. kalau tak boleh rasa mcm mana kerja kt tmpt gelap.
ngahahah ;)

Exhausted.

2009-04-14T13:43:00.000+08:00

My first day as a Lavender staff.

I worked at 12noon til 8.30pm.
well, kinda exhausted, definitely.
had to stand up. cannot sit at all. uhh!
but but, had a break for 30mins. only
tak boleh lambat. nnt dpt 1st warning letter, and tolak gaji.
oh god.
but they provide a staff meal.
got 6rm off. so i can pick any bread that i wanted. *nyum nyum ;)
and and, ice lemon tea, free.
guess how much its cost? 4.90rm. its just a drink anyway. hush

so, ive been in charge on bistro.
bistro and cake shop is a different section.
so i cant be at cake shop. my part is only at the bistro.
eventhough its under the same roof . lols
got 2manager there.
Poh Sim [cake shop] and Fadzillah [bistro]
all the staff there were so friendly.
Raby is the person who taught me. first thing, he teach me the basic one.
table number. got 26table overall. and i have to remember the table position.
kadang2 tu confuse juga. meja2 tu bukannya ikut turutan. tah macam mana tah. susah nak explain. haih
and then he showed me where the cutleries is stored, and what the uses of small fork and byk lagi lah. basic things.

my job right now is, to serve customer.
and the person who worked with me is Raby, Tekman and Ho Yong Ling.
Raby & Tekman, both of them are from Nepal.
dua2 handsome. tp Tekman mcm sweet sgt.
masa mula2 tu dia mcm malu2. hehe comell
*had a crush on him. lols =p
and and, got this one person [kitchen chef] always smiles at me.
haha baik juga dorg.
Ho pula, sebaya. he got 7a's for SPM. but tak apply mana2 IPTA.
i asked him, "whyyy?"
he said, "i dont know. i thought it was expire already [the due date]. so dah terlambat, kan?"
i said, "haha yea. but then u nk masuk apa lepas neh?"
he said that he'll be joining form6.
haih, sayang, kan?

oh oh. got this one customer [regular customer kot]. he's a malay, middle age.
he asked me, "new staff ke?"
then i said, "haah :)"
suddenly, he called me. i came nearer.
then he said, "screwdriver ada?"
i said, "pardon?"
he replied, "screwdriver". much clearer.
then i was like, "huh? nak buat apa?"
then he laughed. "toothpick la dikk"
i was like, "ohhh. hahaha okay"
well, i dont know where the hell the toothpick is.
nak tanya, masing2 busy serve customer.
so i just pick a container of toothpick, and give it to him.
then dia buat muka macam, salah neh.
then my manager came. and that person told her everything, while laughing, yes.
i mcm dah nervous. apa yg dorg ckp neh?
then my manager said, "fajin, bukan yg ni la. toothpick yg ni utk dapur. utk customer lain"
and they laughed.
i was like, okayy. but blurr gilaa. hahah

when i was doing some work, i noticed mcm ada org pandang2.
i look outside, and i saw Pika & Khalishah is waving at me, and ketawa2.
jahat kan dorg? omg segan gilaa.
so i smiled to them then sambung balik buat kerja. hahah.
and and, guess what?
Faiz, Faisal & Pali also came.
they're laughing at me. *blushed
then they came in. i saw them filled up the form.
maybe they asked for a job. and i was like, omg! aaaaaa!
Faiz called me to come nearer.
but i didnt. i said to him that i cant. uh uh sorry =(

and lots thing happened.
what can i say? its my first experience ;)
best. tapi ya allah. kaki sakit nak mam.
gila pedih. sebab pinjam kasut mira. and then size mcm muat2.
so my thumb nail tu mcm tersepit.
fuhh sakit gilaaa. tahan je la. balik rumah, my thumb nail jd pucat.
and sampai skrg tak baik lagi.

anyway, this is my working schedule.
Monday : 12pm ~ 8.30pm
Tuesday to Thursday : 12pm ~ 5pm
Friday : Not on duty
Weekend : 12pm ~ 5pm

yeayyy! guess what does it means?
i can go to the barbecue!!
hahah. this saturday ktorg [the neighbours] plan nk buat bbq.
so haritu ingat mcm tak boleh pegi. cz kerja.
but after seeing my schedule, i was like, yeayyy!
hehehe :D

Happy?

2009-04-12T16:10:00.000+08:00

yes, currently. alhamdulillah.
thanks kepada si dia ;)
taknak cerita lebih. nanti ada orang tu marah.
ngee :D

Still, together =)

2009-04-12T10:15:00.000+08:00

things are getting better. alhamdulillah.
on the phone with him, last night.
he asked me to call.
he said that he still want to be with me.
and and, he'll ignore her.
cukup utk buat saya happy :)
he also said that he wanted to sing a song for me. with guitar, yes.
but tak jadi, cz guitar dlm rumah. and he's inside the car.
so i tell him nevermind lah. nyanyi je. tkde guitar pn tkpe. lagi bagus, kot.
then he asked me, "mcm mana nk nyanyi lagu tanpa music?"
i was like, err. tp if nyanyi without music, kte boleh dga suara org tu live, kan? and lebih jelas.
haha then dia kata tkpe. next time je ;)
but things are not like before.
ada sedikit perubahan, actually.
i had to get used to it. well yea, it takes time. aihh

thanks to naly anyway.
for always being there whenever i need u.
*saya pegang janji tu, kay =p
he supposed to talk with me last night,
but mse tu tga on the phone with him.
and he understand.
then i text him. no respond.
tido, kot.
haha pagi td tgk, ada msg from naly.
said that he'd fall asleep last night.
hm dah agak dah. its okay, naly ;)

today is saturday, right?
goshh. one day left. monday dah start kerja.
omg. seriously mcm tak percaya.
RHB account pun belum buat lg. injection pun tak amik lg.
mcm mana neh? haih.
kalau la ayah tak delete account tu dulu, kan senang.
dah ada dah skrg. xyah sibuk nk pk buat account sume.
hm about the injection?
semalam call klinik kesihatan, dia kata ubat utk injection tu tkde stock.
so mum called dr. rosnah, a.k.a our neighbour.
she said, if nk buat boleh. but its 65rm.
haha agak mahal lah, kan?
so i called poh sim [lavender manager] just now.
told her about that thing.
and she said, ohh if cmtu tkpe lah. u dtg je kerja, nnt i bwk u pegi inject kt tmpt yg murah, ok?
ahaha thank god. so nice of her, kan? xyah pening2 nk pk.
one problem is solved. *winks

but but, pimples pula makin naik.
ya allah, geramnyaa.
time neh juga la dia gatal naik kt muka.
sakitnya hati. mcm nak berus je bagi hilang.
urghhh!

Leaving a fracture.

2009-04-11T12:43:00.000+08:00

i dont know how am i going to face this whole thing.
i dont have anyone by my side. im lost. totally lost.
my spirit booster, its gone.
i need it back, please.
my eyes are swollen. been cried for most of the time.
oh fajin, kenapa dgn kau? kenapa lemah sgt?
come on, u still got him, right?
apa lg yg tak puas?
theres a thing. i need the old him back.
thats it. and i'll be happy like before.
im sorry if i messed up the whole thing.
and sorry for not being such a perfect person to u.
but please, stay. i need u to fill up the colours of my life

Late, again.

2009-04-10T22:13:00.000+08:00

i slept at 4am last night.
been on my bed at 3am.
it took me an hour to fall asleep.
a lot of thoughts. yes, it is.
ive been thinking about him, him and him.
before this senang je nk tdo.
why? cz hati senang. dia pun sentiasa bersama.

but not last night.
everything is changed.
its a BIG difference. goshh. i hate this situation.
i need the old him.
who understands me a lot than what he used to be right now.
i opened arif profile on myspace just now.
and found up this interesting sentences.

It's my fault, I'm sorry
That we had this fight
I apologize, would you hug me tonight?
Here in my bed you're miles away from me
Here in my head you're never close to me
Come on, don't be mad, I told you I need you
Come on, don't be sad, I'm still in love with you

yes, sgt sesuai dgn situation ktorg skrg.
oh god. she screwed our life like a b***h.
and now, it seems like it was all my fault.
hah. unbelievable.
hebat betul plan kau, kan?
and yes, it worked out.
happy lah kau, kan? have it, girl. enjoyed.
apa salahnya sekali sekala kau happy, kan?
tkpe, aku faham. kau mmg desperate sgt.
its ok. hari neh mmg hari kau. esok lusa, siapa yg tahu?
just pray for the best.

hopefully things will be alright.
malam td pk juga, cmne nk kerja if ada masalah?
takut distracted.
i need him. cz he's my spirit booster.
without him, im weak. too weak.

he texted me this morning. around 6++ am?
asked me to call him.
but my credit wasnt enough. and i told him that.
tak lama lepas tu, he called.
by using his lil' sister number.
im pretty shocked, actually.
we talked for about 30mins.
most of the time he'd been silent.
its urm, awkward.
tak semesra dulu. yepp, thats the truth.
and bila ckp je, mst cm nak argue.
oh god. please, i really hate it.
but one thing that im sure of, is about what i feels.
my heartbeat. still pounds up very faster like before.
thank god. perasaan yg sama. tak berubah. alhamdulillah =)

keep on praying, fajin.
pray for the best. dont give up too fast.
ure not that weak, kan?
stand up straight, and told them that u're okay.
prove to them that u're a strong girl.
yes. yes u are ;)

Thank god.

2009-04-08T23:07:00.000+08:00

hey people, guess what?
i got a job! haha yess!
opps, its supposed to be alhamdulillah =)
god, i really cant believe it myself.
i just walked in, and ask, "is there any vacancy?"
then one of the staff there called the manager.
and the manager asked me this and that,
then she asked me to fill up the form. i did :)
but suddenly she said, "are u ready for the interview?"
so i said, "urm when is it?"
she said, "right now lah if u're ready"
gulp! omg. what the hell is going on? haha.
i was pretty shocked, actually. sumpah tak ready.
and tak expect pun boleh terus nak interview.
i asked her, "what time is it. oh i mean, now"
she said, "2.20pm"
i replied, "err actually i dh book movie ticket. and the show start at 2.30. so, cmne ek?"
then she said, "hm its ok la. u can come back after the movie ends"
so i said, "oh, haha alright. thanks. i'll come back later"

so we [intan, mira, pika & me] went to watch the movie first.
confession of a shopaholic. yep yep yepp =)
its a great movie. yes, gotta admit that.
*weh korg, bayar kt aku. cte tu best kan? agagga =p
but, my mind is not focused on the movie.
im kinda nervous when im thinking about the interview thingy.
yea, tak ready langsung kott.
and tkde experience apa2 pun before this. aaaaaaaaa!
but they told me to relax. thanks, friends! iloveyou ;)

after the movie ended,
they wanna go to the toilet.
i felt like i wanna p** too, but my nervousness just cant let it.
so i told them that i'll go down to attend the interview first.
as usual, she asked me about my studies,
how long i'll work there, etc etc.
and then she asked me about my pants size.
cz nk order uniform.
i was like, this soon? ahah goshh.
then i followed her to toilet, to try my uniform size.
M does really fits me well =)
then she asked me to read about the terms & conditions.
gila banyak. cerewet btl.
so i'll start working next week, on monday.

i met my friends later, told them all about it. and they're shocked too!
they said, "bertuah gila kau. mmg rezeki kau kot hari neh =)"
haha yea, since i want to work there badly.
i mean the uniform is purple in colour.
wow, my favourite colour tuhh.
haha and the most important thing is, its a bakery shop!
mmg minat sgt dr dulu tau.
suka dgn bread & cakes neh. mcm best sgt.
oh ohh, its Lavender, anyway.
nama kedai tuh ;)

but the worse thing is, xle pakai tudung.
wear a cap instead of scarf.
told my mum just now, dia mcm so-so la.
then she asked my dad, and ayah cm ok.
dia tak tnya lgsg psl tudung thingy tuh.
dia tanya benda lain. haha yeayy!
and and, kena makeup.
omygoshh. gila ke?
yg tu kena pk thousand times.
blusher? lipstick? urgghhh! so not me!
simple2 je dah. xyah pkai compact powder sume.
johnson & johnson baby powder pun dh ckup wangi.
ahahhah =p

mcm tak percaya je nk kerja, kan?
haha am i dreaming right now??
ohhh god

Sleepy.

2009-04-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

hm nothing much to say about today.
its just the same day as previously.
nothing interesting.
its just, i was too lazy to wake up from my bed.
god, i love my bed.
kdg2 tu dah awake, tp masih lagi bermalas-malasan atas katil.
berangan nk dpt banglo, and kereta idaman, mini cooper s. *woot-woott =p
haha yes, keep on dreaming, fajin.

but seriously, pagi td cm ngantuk sgt.
goshh. taktau la kenapa.
after subuh, he called.
and we talked for about 3omins.
he said he wanna meet me later, or anytime, today.
i said i'll try, but i cant promise.
lastly tak jumpa pun.
ada sebab2 yg tak dpt dielakkan.

so, all msgs and calls, semua kena ignore.
dalam kepala cm, "layan tido lg best. hmm"
haha sorry.
but then i got a call from qusya.
it was the 5th call?
we talked about, hm still the same old issue. about her boyf, imran.
oh i mean her ex, currently.
jd pendengar yg setia dh ckup bagus lah kan?
haha but i feel sorry for her.
how could imran do that?
oh god. wujud juga org mcm tu dlm dunia neh, kan?
haihh.

by 2pm, went to school with mira.
she said she wanna took school magazine kt office.
but as we arrived there,
the kerani said "belum diserahkan ke pejabat lg la dik"
damnnn!
i asked mira, "asal tak ckp awal2?"
then she said, "mana la aku tawu. laili kata dia dh dpt"
goshh. down sgt.
singgah kantin jap, wow! dah berubah.
susunan meja je la yg berubah. nothing much. haha.
beli sausage, letak sambal.
seriously rinduuu! makanan fave time skola dulu.
and slalu je kena ejek dgn gang 08, according to intan, puja & taha.
*haha tak berapa faham dgn gelaran tu, actually.
kena ejek cz, mm korg faham2 la yeh.
sensitive cket if nk ckp kt sini. hahah

then mira said she wanna eat at KFC.
so we went there, and she treat me a drink.
thanks mira! =)
after we finished, beli cendol.
tiba2 mengidam. haha pelikk.
then pegi speedmart, mama pesan suruh beli roti.
haih nasib baik sempat.
and lebih nasib baik, tak jumpa that guy.
*ekin, you-know-who lah kan. haha
after kua tu, npk ada vacancy kt excellence.
mira said i should go in and ask about the vacancy.
but the counter girl said cawangan telok dh full. if ada kosong mayb dkt sri cheeding.
sri cheeding?? jauh kott.
so i was like, "urmm takpe lah. hehe terima kasih"

went back home.
borak2, tiba2 mama ckp, "fajin, esok jogging nak?"
then i said, "hm tgk la kalau rajin. and tgk mood"
mira & mama is not being satisfied with my answer.
so mira said, habis nnt kalau masuk army, suruh kawad, kau ckp mcm ni.. "maaf tuan, tkde mood la nk kawad"
i laughed. haha betul gak, eh.
mama added, "tah awk ni. mana boleh asyik nk ikut mood je"
then i said, "hm yelah2. tp kejut la esok. kang terbabas pulak"
in my mind, ive been thinking, mcm lah aku bangun esok.
after subuh terus pengsan.
sayang oh tido. agagaga =p

oh oh, esok nak tgk shopaholic dgn intan & mira.
hopefully pika will join us. aaaaaa rinduuu!
its 12.35am already.
so better tido awal mlm neh. boleh mimpi lama cket.
ngahahah. toodles! ;)

Let it remain this way.

2009-04-05T17:29:00.000+08:00

I've been scolded by dad, just now. when he's eating on dining table.
im shocked. terkejut sgt. jantung rasa mcm terhenti seketika.
kena marah sebab apa?
sebab pecahkan botol minyak gamat.
godd. i didnt realize it.
i opened the fridge, and suddenly the little bottle dropped off.
nasib baik tak kena kepala.
then ayah tinggi suara sume. kaca bersepah la, mata tak awas la, yada yada yada.
malas nak cerita. nnt nangis lg. urghh damn.
seriously, it hurts.
tak suka gila kena marah.
and when i mopped the floor, the tears kept falling down.
i was like, "sabar, Fajin. tahan. jgn nangis kt sini. jgn nangis depan ayah. malu"
after i finish cleaned the floor, i quickly ran to upstairs.
ah before that, ayah said softly, "fajin, ckp kt jihan tu suruh makan"
dalam hati, i was like, ckp ah sendiri. td marah2. mengada tol.
tp tak ckp apa2 pun. bia dia faham sendiri.

so i went to mama's room.
cz usually i'll complained to her about ayah scolding me, etc etc.
and mama will back up.
but things aren't going that way.
im alone. mama's out.
doing facial at slimming sanctuary with auntie normah.
urghh for god's sake! i need u!

then i burst into tears. sumpah tak tahan sgt.
i quickly called him.
only him can make me feel better.
yes, he have that power.
first call, tkde org angkat.
second time, ada. i thought it was him.
tp bukan. its fakhrul.
i asked him, "faiz mana?"
then he said, "faiz tgh drive la fajin, kenapa?"
i terus hung up the phone.
geram, sgt. kenapa time2 mcm ni dia tkde?
damnnnn.
i gave him a message.
"kenapa faiz slalu je tkde time fajin btl2 perlukan dia? fajin tension sgt. if cmni kte break je lah. fajin tak tahan, faiz"
i dont know whether i really mean it, or not.
i mean the "breakup" thingy.
serabut sgt time tu. sampai xle nk fikir good things dah.
mcm nk mengamuk kt semua org. cm tahi, kan?

so i called intan.
i dont know why. she was the first person been on my mind.
and thank god she's there.
so i told her about, everything [while crying]
she told me to relax. and she asked me about the breakup msg which i gave to faiz just now.
"kau serious ke nk break dgn dia? kau syg dia, kan? kenapa ckp mcm tu?"
then i said, "i dont know, intan. tp dgn keadaan skrg neh, aku rse better if ktorg break. dia mcm slalu je dgn kwn2 dia. aku bengang, tau. ingat semua dh ok cz ktorg dh gaduh teruk haritu psl benda neh juga. tp tak. tu yg geram sgt tu. dia tawu pulak marah bila aku kua dgn korg sume. and dia kata aku tkde mse utk dia la. so skrg neh spe yg tkde mse utk spe intan?"
god, i crap a lot.
i just said the things that have been on my mind all this while.
intan said she understands me.
and she told me to relax first, and think carefully about my relationship with him.
time tu juga lah battery flat. so i said, "nnt kte ckp lg kay?"

and yea, ive been waiting for his respond.
dia tak reply pun msg td tu.
busy sgt kott.
huhuhu then i texted qusya.
told her about the breakup msg.
but she didnt reply. busy juga, maybe. cz earlier that day she said she's going to someone's wedding. haihh.
suddenly i fell asleep. penat nangis, kot. lgpun cuaca suram.
hujan. mmg sedap la tido, kan?
but terjaga cz dga bunyi msg yg sgt la kuat. hishh annoying betul.
so i woke up, took my phone and read the msg.
from, mafia. "fajin, kenapa ckp mcm tu? call faiz, please. faiz tkde credit"

so i called him. and he's trying to fix everythings up.
he said, "fajin btl2 ke maksudkan benda tu td?"
i said, "i dont knoww"
he asked, "fajin kenapa ni sbnanya? ada masalah ke?"
and i began to cry. oh airmata, kenapa lah sng sgt nk kua.
i told him about ayah.
and i was like a crybaby. sumpah. nangis teruk, tak boleh tahan.
then he said, "laa dh agak dah. mst dia ada masalah. sebab tu ckp yg bukan2. hm dh la syg. jgn mcm ni, please. faiz risau. psl ayah tu, kejap lg dia ok la. ni dh makan belum?"
i said, "belum. tak makan dr pagi. lapar, tp xle nak makan"
and we talked for another 5mins. tak lama pun.
cz sakit dada actually. mcm susah je nk ckp.

after on the phone, there's a msg from qusya.
hehe i told her not to worry anymore, cz everything is just fine.
and oh, lupa nak reply msg intan =)

haihh. thank god things are getting better.
but there's a thing that im worried about.
how long this relationship will lasts?
mcm takut sikit dgn keadaan skrg.
tp tkpe lah, its better than nothing, kan?
hehe :)

nway, thanks intan. and qusya.
cz always be there whenever i need u.
sayang korg ketat2, tau ;)

Hey, Zul =)

2009-04-03T17:32:00.000+08:00

I met her, just now. at kfc.
its urmm, unplanned meeting.
haha last 2nights, i gave her a msg.
telling her that ive been missed her so much. and hope to see her a.s.a.p
so she called me this morning, but tak angkat.
i still laid on my bed, sleeping.
haha malas betul nak bangun.
maklumlah, tgh cuti. hehe :D

so she told me tht she'll come to her sis's house.
which is nearer to mine.
oh oh, zul is currently stays at shah alam, with her parents.
her full name is Zulaikha bt Mahfal.
but i called her zul.
and just now, she said tht i am the only person who called her "Zul"
cz she said, her family called her "Ika" and her friends called her "Zu"
so i said back, "haha yeke? aku sorg je eh? hehe best apa. baru lah special cket"

its been 4years.
yupp, 4years we didnt met each other.
she was my closest bestfriends when i was in form1 & form2.
but she moved to shah alam when we're in form3.
god. how sad it was.
but im glad to have her as one of my bff.
and we almost lost contact.
cz she lost her phone.
but thank god she still remembered my home number.

so we talked, a lot.
talk about our memories back then.
she's always been scolded by a teacher named Habibah.
of course, we called her as "bibah" or worse, "si kepala besar"
haha how bad we were, right?

but but,
we can only talked for about an hour.
cz mum said i need to send jihan & shamin to school.
urghhh damn!
so we bid goodbye.
aaaa sedih gila! dah la lama tak jumpa.
td tu pun dia ponteng kerja.
im sorry, Zul.
next time kte kua, kay? i love you.
and i miss you :)

Lol.

2009-04-03T17:16:00.000+08:00

i went downstairs just now, and saw mama's exercising.
i was like, "heyy what are u doing?"
im pretty shocked, actually.
cz usually mum will exercise at 7pm.
but not today.
haha i guess she was so afraid of being fat.
oh yea, i think i know why.
we watched the biggest loser just now.
so maybe the show becomes her spirit booster to keep on exercising.
hehe there u go mum!

godd, so much crap.
whenever im down, i'll become the quietest person everr!
and everything will turns upside down.
i'll yelled at anybody i want.
*err the victim usually was my little sister. poor them.
but now, it turns otherwise.
i talked, a LOT.
haha maybe i think it wasnt because of my fault.
yada yada yada.
apa nak jadi, jadi lah.
penat. and malas.

1 week.

2009-04-03T16:51:00.000+08:00

its been a week, since farah left this house.

went to Melbourne, stay with her friends there.
i guess she had a blast over there.
godd, im jealous!

hoi, cepat ah balik.
rindu kaw oh.
err rindu?? cehh, mcm tak percaya je.
wawawa =p

hm talking about rindu, i really miss those kids.
aaaaaaaaaaaa!

Listen, people.

2009-04-03T16:05:00.000+08:00

im curently switched off my phone.
fought with him. yes, again.
its been 2nights in a row, he went out with his friends.
and came back home, late.
around 3am?
and yea, ive been waiting 4 him til i fall asleep.
cz he said tht he'll text me whenever he's free.
he also said tht it wont take a long time.
cz he wanted to spend the nights with me.
but hell, no.
he didnt keep his words.
im pissed off.

im awakened by his calls, last night.
but i ignored him.
his msgs, and his calls.
im just thought of, lets play fair and square, right?
may he feel what i feels.

but somehow, he called me again, just now.
so i went upstairs, and called him back.
but he was sOoo mad.
he yelled at me.
of course, there were a few cursing.
*im not happy about it. damn!
im just, being silent.
he asked me where i've been, why i didnt pick up his calls, and didnt reply any of his msgs, etc etc.
i dont know whats the best answer to give him.
so i just said, "sorry"
then he hang up. pffffttttttt!

im just, so mad.
off the phone, yes.
that was the best way i guess.
ok now, tell me.
who's to be blamed?
me or him?
who's fault is it?
godd. i really dont understand.
he shouldnt be mad.
i am the one who should.

oh tears, hold on.
please dont cry.
not now, please.

ya allah, bantulah aku.
tenangkan lah fikiranku yg kusut ini.
engkau lembutkan lah hati dia.
supaya dia cepat mengaku kesalahannya.
aku tidak berdaya untuk menyalahkannya.
kerana aku terlalu menyayangi dirinya.

status : still off phone. bye bye friends! and, im sorry :(

Duhh. im bored

2009-03-27T15:18:00.000+08:00

Yea, thanks to farah la kan cz tagged saya =p

TAG 1

7 ciri lelaki idaman saya
• Tall
• When he smiles, his whole face brightens up and will instantaneously make you happy
• Smells nice
• Pretective
• Spontaneous
• Caring
• Smart and non-smoker, please?

7 lelaki yang pernah saya minati [cinta?]
• Well, my 1st crush is when i was in kindergarten. His name is Iqram. Comell. Haha i fell in love with him mse kotrg menari tarian tradisional. Yepp, ktorg main dancer. Cewahh.
• A prefect when i was in standard3. Heh. He is a brother of my friend. Every morning we would walk together to school. Along with my friend laa. Tkde la berdua je. Hahah.
• Nicky Byrne from Westlife. Sumpah. Comell. And im still a crazy fan of his.
• A chinese boy mse form2, kot. Seriously. Jatuh cinta gila! And sometimes rse mcm syok sendiri. Wawawa =p
• Mamat Forever21 kt Pavilion. Hahaha. Masa tu klaka gila kott.
• Chad Michael Murray. Yep yep!
• Kim Heechul, Lee Donghae, Kim Kibum & Choi Shiwon.
• Currently in looove with Lee Minho, KimBum & Kim Hyun Joong =p

7 perasaan sekiranya keluar dengan orang yang diminati [cinta?]
• My heart pounds up very fast.
• Nervous sampai kadang2 terspeechless.
• Got butterflies in my tummy, for sure.
• Happy. Not just happy. Bahagia.
• I felt like I was in my own world.
• Kalau sakit terus rasa mcm sihat.
• Menggigil, sometimes =p

7 tempat istimewa yang ingin dilawati bersama orang yang tersayang
• Paris!
• The most beautiful Island in the world.
• Korea. yeayyy!
• China's Great Wall.
• Holland in spring.
• Tepi tasik bawah pokok and tengok stars all night.
• Mana2 pun tak kisah janji tak busuk.

7 barangan/sesuatu istimewa yang mungkin dihadiahkan buat orang tersayang
• Errr. Surprise ahh! Mana boleh bgtwu. Hahaha =p

7 Lagu yang anda nyanyikan untuk orang tersayang
• Mariah Carey - My All [tp susah kot lagu tu =p]
• Super Junior - Endless Moment
• Sixpence None Richer - Kiss Me
• N'Sync - This I Promise You
• Edwin McCain - I'll Be
• Daniel Bedingfield - If You're Not The One.
• Westlife - More Than Words

TAG 2
1. Take a recent CUTE photo of yourself.
2. Don't change anything, edit or whatever.
3. Post that photo.
4. Post this instructions with the photo.
5. Tag 10 people to do this.

I tag Syikin & Amalina

Crazy.

2009-03-26T23:20:00.000+08:00

goshh. im in love again, with Super Junior. a top singing group from Korea. damn.
i watch their new mv, "sorry sorry" for about 30times, i guess?
or more, perhaps.
ive been crazy watching over it.
urghhh!

but im kind of frust with heechul's new hair.
it was too short.
and his face looked, weird :(
but i still have donghae.
hehe :D
and oh, currently in love with kyuhyun & yesung.
suara dorg best gilaa.
aaaaaaaaaa!

damn. i really hate sungmin.
he's trying so hard to look cute on every single performance.
and he act like he is so cool.
hell no. gedikk.
sorry!

i miss kibum.
he is nowhere to be found.
not on super junior's comeback.
he's not even there.
why?
he's been busy with shooting, etc etc.
dia selalu je tkde.
ish geram geram :(

A brand new life.

2009-03-13T11:57:00.000+08:00

13th march 09.

ive promised myself that i'll study harder and harder after this.
after i got such an awful result yesterday.
yepp,
i felt like im an idiot.
wayy too idiot.
and im just a burdensome to my parents.
i didnt make them proud.
instead of proud, they cried.
tears of... not happiness.
but tears of frustrated.

i cried too.
and i was down yesterday.
i cried 4 d whole day.
the worst day ive been through in my whole lifetime.
and ive promised myself that this will be the last.
ive been thinking of committing suicide yesterday.
i just thought of there will be an accident.
and im one of the victim.
and died on the spot.
but hell no.

faiz had awekened me up.
i started to think of Allah.
*mengucap.
i went to bathroom,
to freshened up my body.
and i felt calm in there.
i started to think about everything.

then i perform the solah.
i prayed to Allah,
to soften mama & ayah's heart.
may they accept what is fated.
and to give me another chance,
to prove them that im not that stupid.
there's still a chance.
yes, there is.

credits to farah, mira, faiz, harithah, qusya, puja, and my other friends as well.
they support me up.
they said, if we failed once, doesnt means we'll fail forever.
thanks to them.
i dont know what would my life be without having them around.
i appreciate it :)

oh yes,
about my result,
alhamdulillah pass semua.
cuma addmaths je la, dpt E.
teruk, kan?
well,
u can say whatever u want.
but its not going to affect my spirit.
there's still a hope.
and im always pray for it.

thank Allah ayah was okay.
he wasnt mad of me.
its just, mama is the problem right now.
but nevermind..
i understand what she feels.
and it takes time for her to back to normal.
keep praying, fajin.
dont give up too fast.

ayah suggest me to join army.
he said, think of ur future.
think of economy..
about will happen 4 ten years ahead.
walau ekonomi jatuh sekalipun,
benda yg takkan effect,
pendidikan, pertahanan, and there's another one.
cant remember what is it.

so,
i had make up my mind.
i'll apply 4 any courses.
especially 4 language, army & teacher.

thanks to farah especially.
i remembered a thing she said last night.
i texted her, "i lost in this battle"
and she replied, "byk lg battles to come. this isnt the end"
credits to her then! =)

well,
now im not the same old fajin anymore.
i have changed.
its a brand new me.
with a new spirit, new strength, new life, high hopes, and bright future.
insyaallah.
keep praying 4 me.
fighting! :)

SPM.

2009-03-11T20:47:00.000+08:00

11th march 09.

SPM...

hm the results will reveal tomorrow.

i had butterflies in my tummy right now.

i keep praying 4 my best result.

but i cant sit still.

i kept going here & there,

wondering what will i get 4 my result tomorrow.

will it be any subject that is fail?

i started thinking of addmaths & LK.

god. i flunked those paper.

i am much worried.

im wondering how many a's i'll get, too.

everyone kept asking me the same question, "berapa A target?"

i said, "i dont know. tkde target. and tak berani nak target. phobia"

the same question & answer.

thats it.

goshh.

im really hoping 4 a miracle to happen tomorrow.

when i pray just now,

i promised to myself that i'll study harder when i got into university o matrix.

yupp, i want to be a successful woman.

and i want to make my parents proud.

i want to prove them that i can do it.

i'll pray 4 my friends too.

my classmates especially.

i really miss them.

i miss the teachers.

i hope i can meet all of them tomorrow.

god. i really want to scream out loud right now.

tension tahap dewa bulan.

i am still missing him somehow.

damn. i really do.

arghhhhh!

its torturing me.

guys,

wish my luck.

and pray 4 me.

hopefully i'll get the best result.

insyaallah. aamin :)

Urgghhhh!

2009-03-05T23:24:00.000+08:00

5th march 09.

im about to transfer all of the picture frm the camera to laptop.
but guess what?
the camera battery is weak.
cm tahi, kan?
alaaa malas gila nk charge.
goshhh!

nway,
sorry to nazli.
cz he's the one who wants all of the picture.
ahaha excited eh nk tgk?
well yea,
its frm the outing.
we went out to sunway pyramid yesterday.
along with mira & pika.
and we had a blast, of course!
miahahah =p

tu la,
td igt nk letak pix skali.
but battery pulak weak.
urghhh!

esok ah cte.
alright, till then~

Urmm...

2009-03-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

3rd march 09.

we went to watch a movie last night.
mira & durrani [mira's lil' bro] also joined us.
before we went to the cinema which is at 2nd floor,
mama & ayah said they want to solat isyak first.
it was 9pm that time.
and i said, i want to went upstairs 1st to buy snacks/popcorn.
takot tak sempat je nnt.
cz movie ktorg start at 9.20.

so i went there 1st with mira, durrani & jihan.
after we bought all the things we need,
we sat on a bench, waiting 4 my mum & dad.
here's some pics from us :)

in the cinema,
i sat beside shamin.
while mira, durrani & jihan at my back.
mama & ayah at the front.

the guy who sat beside mira was so,
pfffffttttt! ANNOYING!
why?
cz he imitated the upin & ipin voice.
not only for a second or on a certain scene,
but he's doing it all of the time!
poor mira.
he's so loud til i could hear his voice.
i thought it was a kid.
but suddenly mira said its a big guy,
dah dewasa dah pun.
hello mister. tak reti nk hormat org lain ke?
mira said she couldnt understand wht the story is all about.
just because of that annoying guy.
urghhh gila!

A little things.

2009-02-28T18:39:00.000+08:00

well,
i didnt wrote much in this month.
but there's a lot of important thing happened, as usual.

earlier this month,
we went 4 a visit at pak usu's new house.
pak usu is mama's youngest brother.
so, i met d ribena girls.
umm it is pak usu's daughters.
oh they're sOooo cute!
the 1st one is auni [4years], 2nd mia [3years] & d last one is zara [ 1years]
but i was tired.
layan dorg penat, okay.
but still, i had a lot of fun with them.
hahaha rindu!

then, on 16th february,
i had a driving test by jpj.
i passed. alhamdulillah =)
but i thought i was failed.
cz d tester [jpj], urghhh annoying!
always told me to drive even faster.
im confused.
cz my driving instructor said d limit of speed at jln kampung must b less than 30km/h.
so i followed exactly as wht he said.
but the tester always like, "hah, tkde kereta tu. dah jln cepat. cepattt".
and "laju lagi.. cepat jalan"
god. he's a psycho.
urghhh sabar je.
and worse, i didnt do the U-turn.
he said, "aft roundabout tu terus patah balik litar. xyah buat U-turn"
huh confirm fail, i thought.

then, aft habis tu,
kena sign.
i saw d marks.
it was 8. yup, 8 out of 20.
pretty shocked, huh?
i started to feel like crying.
i showed d result paper to my driving instructor.
and he really thought that i was failed.
but, he showed me at the lulus & gagal box.
there's a tick in the lulus box.
im getting weird.
then he said, "awk dpt 18 laa. hehe lulus"
i was like, god! really?
hahaha yea,
tak npk num1 tu cz kena kt garisan.
hahahaha i was sooo happy then!
thank Allah (:

another thing,
intan gave me elmo.
she gave it to me inside her car, when im about to leave [in front of my house]
i know it was too expensive.
im shocked when she said, "fajin, amek neh"
i was like, huh? apa neh?
i peek into the plastic bag, and there's a elmo in it.
ohh. that was so nice of her.
and im touched. yes, i really does.
i thanked her.
she's so kind.
im glad to have such a nice person like her.

last weekend,
uncle fared a.k.a mira's dad,
asked my family to went out with his family.
to where? play bowling, of course.
so we played the game.
but my mum didnt joined us.
she had a cramp legs.
poor her.

so, ayah wins the game.
uncle fared 2nd, im 3rd, shamin 4th, aunty normah 5th.
and d last place goes to my bestie, mira!
hahaha she's being so mad.
being lose to my younger sister is not an acceptable 4 her, i guess.
pity pity her.
hehe she want to have another game.
but sorry mira.
its already 11pm.
and everyone seems to b tired.
its okay, next time then!

then we went to makan2 at a restaurant nearby.
while at d dining table,
mira said she want to played again.
then her dad said, "next time laa. kte pegi with d boys skali"
d boys that i meant was, her elder brothers.
n mine, too.
uncle fared said it'll be more fun.
urm i think so. hahaha

i think this is enough.
cant really remember d other things that happened.
hm till then! =)